Of course, there are more than five options, but I think the essence of the options come down to five choices.
Besides, I'm a rule follower. It's called The 5, not The 11.
So here are the five options with conveniently included odds intended solely for the purposes of wagering.
A Guard (3 to 1)
I remember my immediate reaction to the national championship game, other than "Gee Manti Teo is playing so poorly; it's like he has a fake girlfriend or something," was "Chance Warmack can be my wingman any time." He was such a mauler that night against Notre Dame, I was practically stitching his name on a Cardinals jersey the next day. I'd like to say I watched a lot of North Carolina football to give you a true scouting report on Jonathan Cooper, but that would be a bald-faced lie. But some believe he's even better than Warmack. Whatever. Offensive line needs upgrading...well upgrade it.
A pass rusher (4 to 1)
In a lifetime spent in futile support of the Cardinals, my top three all time "doh" moments: 1. Steve Bono's naked bootleg. 2. Santonio Holmes' illegal catch. 3. Not selecting Terrell Suggs in 2003. Do the Cardinals dare to -- once again -- pass on the local pass rusher in Dion Jordan? Look, if you want a game changer out of the seventh pick, you go pass rusher, not guard. But how many more times are the Cardinals going to go to Costco intending to buy milk and chicken and instead come home with a flat screen TV and new patio furniture?
Get lucky (10 to 1)
Once upon a time, having studied every mock draft at my disposal, I boldly proclaimed "There is no way on God's green Earth that Dan Williams will be there in the first round." As Williams enters his third year on the Cards roster it's clear you must expect the unexpected. But a tackle falling to seven would be unexpected. Two weeks ago, Gambo and I were debating taking the third-best tackle (Lane Johnson) or the best guard (Chance Warmack). It's a debate that has been spayed and neutered by every mock draft suggesting all three tackles are gone by five. Speaking of gone by five....
Trade down (12 to 1)
So Adam Schefter reports the Cardinals are trying to trade down. I'm trying to pay off my credit cards before my kid starts college. The cause is noble and the degree of difficulty is high. It's a nice idea, especially since the three tackles are probably gone and the Cards need help everywhere, but it sounds like the Cardinals are hardly alone on wanting to trade down and that limits the opportunity. Speaking of the tackles....
Trade up (18 to 1)
Some guys spend hours working up the courage to talk to a woman in a bar, others are blessed with the ability to strike up a conversation in three minutes and have her digits in six. It's just never been in the Cardinals' DNA to trade up and get their guy (Is it true that the last time they traded up in the first round was to get Garrison Hearst...back in 1993? *Editor's note: Yes, it is*). It would be a bold, aggressive, non-Cardinals type of move. I'm not entirely sure it would be prudent given all the needs this team has but you know what...prudence is boring.
Alright, screw the rules. Bonus option....a shocking twist (30 to 1):
A quarterback? A wide receiver? Just can't see it, but then I never thought the movie "Seven" was going to end with Gwyneth's head in a box.