After watching the Dodgers win yet again, I am thoroughly convinced that Don Mattingly made a deal with the Devil. And I believe it went something like this:
The Devil went down to Los Angeles
He was looking for a soul to steal
He was in a bind and he was way behind
And he was willing to make a deal
When he came across a middle-aged man swinging a fungo and roping some balls
The Devil jumped on to a batting cage and said "soon to be fired manager, let me tell you what
I guess you didn't know it but I was a baseball player too
And if you care to make a dare, I'll make a bet with you.
Now you swing some pretty good lumber, boy but give the Devil his due I'll bet a Boatload of wins against your soul cause I think I'm better than you"
The middle-aged man said "my name's Donnie Baseball and it might be a sin
But ill take your bet your gonna regret cause im a former batting champion -- And because I'm 9.5 games behind the Diamondbacks"
Donnie put some pine tar on that bat and swung it really well
'Cause hell's broke loose in Los Angeles and the Devil doesn't pitch like Heath Bell
And if you win, your Dodgers will win the NL West by a landslide
But if you lose, the Devil gets your hide
The Devil opened up this game and he said "I'll start this round"
And fire flew from his Louisville slugger as he stared down Kershaw on the mound
And he swung that stick across the plate and you could hear the crack of the bat
And a band of demons joined in and said "even Duke Snider couldn't do that"
When the Devil finished Donnie said "well you're pretty good, old son
But get back on that mound right there and let me show you how it's done"
Fire on Chavez Ravine run Maury, run
The Devil's in the house of Jackie Robinson
Pee Wee, Campy and Junior Gilliam
Dodger legends from Fernando to Walter Alston
The Devil bowed his head because he knew that he'd been beat
And he laid that NL West crown on the ground near Donnie's feet
Donnie said "Devil, just come on back if you ever want to try again
'Cause I told you once, you son of a bitch, I was a batting champion"