Paulie: We win whether Rex Ryan wins or loses against Patriots
A win is always a win. But, sometimes, so is a loss. (And, no, we're not talking about any sort of moral victories here in the Paulie Blog. As you might suspect, we're low on morals around here.)
Q: When exactly does a loss become a win?
A: When the guy doing the losing is Rex Ryan.
Actually, a Rex Ryan loss becomes an XXL win. For everybody else. (Regrettably, so does a Rex Ryan win. More on that momentarily.)
See, Paulie Pigskin says that if Rex Ryan loses at New England, that will qualify as a win. A win for decorum. A win for modesty. A win for humility and sanity. A win for every sound bite that doesn't cite oneself (in the third person, naturally) as the key matchup in an NFL Playoff game.
In other words, it's a win for every non-spotlight seeking, non-bravado spewing, non-snack eating, and boast-busting American everywhere.
In fact, it's very fitting that Rex's Jets are playing the "Patriots" on Sunday, is it not?
Of course, that would be Bill Belichick's Patriots. That's important to note. Because, as the NY headline screamed, it's "The Roar vs. The Bore."
"This is about Bill Belichick versus Rex Ryan. There's no question. It is personal. It's about him against myself," said The Roar about The Bore. "That's what it's going to come down to."
Now, maybe Dr. Phil should make a house call to analyze the inferiority complex at the root of that comment, especially after the 45-3 smash-caking that The Bore pasted on the The Roar just last month.
But, forget the diagnosis. Irrelevant. It's a win-win either way.
Once again, if Belichick beats Rex Ryan (again), then it becomes a win for everyone who carries a big stick, but not a big mouth.
At the same time, it's the mondo mouth that also prevents a Rex Ryan victory from turning into a loss for the rest of us. Alas, when the Son of Buddy has something to say, it gives us something to say…in response. And, in this business of sports as entertainment, that's good for business.
Rex loses, we win. Rex wins, we win. For example, more press conferences inevitably result in more material for Paul's Call (M-F, 8:35am, Sports 620 KTAR).
Q: Has there ever been a guy so polarizing in his convictions, but so unifying when it comes to our consumption?
A: Darn that Rex Ryan.