If it's broke, don't fix it

New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees (9) of the NFC, left, jokes with Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald (11) of the NFC during their Pro Bowl team photo session, Friday, Jan. 27, 2012, in Kapolei, Hawaii. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)
New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees (9) of the NFC, left, jokes with Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald (11) of the NFC during their Pro Bowl team photo session, Friday, Jan. 27, 2012, in Kapolei, Hawaii. (AP Photo/Marco Garcia)
You ever notice how nothing gets free advice like the Pro Bowl. More than teenagers, sitting Presidents, lottery winners, Charles Barkley (golf swing) and Lindsay Lohan combined, the Pro Bowl somehow naturally attracts more consultants than we can possibly count.

Attention all experts and visionaries - we don't need no stinkin' awards show. Nor do we desire an NFL skills competition. Just like we have zero appetite for some made-for-TV "Battle of the NFL Stars" reality show. #Buzzer.

Mike Singletary wants "winners." Paulie Pigskin wants football. Specifically, Paulie Pro Bowl wants green grass, not red carpet.

Because, you know what we need between the conference championship games (best gridiron weekend of the year - bar none) and the Super Bowl? More football. As in, an actual game. And, yes, we use that term loooosely.

Because, let's be honest, isn't the Pro Bowl a lot like a running toilet? The one you've lived with for years. I mean, just jiggle the handle already. Is it really that tough? As Kirk Gibson repeated from spring training thru division championship, courtesy of the Navy SEALs - "Deal With It." #GibbyBall.

And we encourage everyone to remember our saying - "it can always get worse" - as we pose this next question: why this primal urge to "fix" the Pro Bowl? Is it really that bad? Is it worse than four games worth of half-hearted and meaningless football in August? Or worse than a lopsided money grab of a college game where LSU jackstomps SW Dakota Tech? #Really?

If we want more effort, then let's bang on the NFL to allocate more money. Redirect our free advice to the NFL Commissioner and tell ole Rog' to ramp up the disparity in paychecks between winner and loser. A rising tide (of cash) lifts all boats. We say make ‘em play by making the NFL pay. Because, right now, everyone is cashing in - except the players ($50K per winner; $25K per loser).

And this just in: the NFL can afford it. Same with the TV networks. Calvisi Consulting says bid out the Pro Bowl telecast to the TV entity that will increase the pay out to the players. If you missed it, the Pro Bowl garnered an overnight rating of 7.9, despite the fact that everyone claims they turned it off. That ties the MLB All-Star game from last summer and, as the USA Today reported, it's "easily the highest-rated sports event of the weekend."

Is the Pro Bowl good football? Not really. Is it good for ratings? Almost always. Does it feature the best players on the planet? Ding. More importantly, is it football - period? Double Ding! And, guess what? That definitely trumps the alternative - no football.

So, is the Pro Bowl busted? Yeah, probably. But it's not like the NFL is going to issue a cease & desist. So, until next year, just jiggle the handle.

Paul Calvisi can be reached with your questions and comments by e-mail here and can follow him on Twitter @PaulCalvisi. All of Paul Calvisi's past columns.

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