Sports Kabob - 10/7
Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.
Here are the top stories:
The Minnesota Twins defeated the Detroit Tigers in a 1 game playoff to win the AL Central
Tigers star Miguel Cabrerra took the loss especially hard, not because he would be missing the playoffs, but because he would not be allowed to partake in the post game champagne celebration.
Alexi Casilla singled home the winning run with one out in the 12th inning and the Twins rallied for a 6-5 victory Tuesday night, completing a colossal collapse for the Tigers
The loss means that the Tigers will not be working this fall, much like most of the other citizens of Detroit.
The Tigers brutal loss left many Detroit residents upset, even causing riots in which cars were turned over and burned
Unfortunately, even here people chose Japanese imports as opposed to cars made locally.
By losing the one game playoff, the Tigers became the first MLB team in history to blow a 3 game lead with 4 games left
This epic collapse has already earned the Detroit Tigers the embarrassing nickname "The Detroit Mets".
A city official has asked the PGA Tour to remind Michael Jordan that he can't smoke cigars at Harding Park during the Presidents Cup, where he will be an assistant captain
Upon hearing this, Jordan said this will not be a problem at all, as long as he can still drink and gamble.
Florida State president T.K. Wetherell said Wednesday that football coach Bobby Bowden's job is safe for now and that he is not in trouble
However, many insiders feel that this may be a trick, especially since Bowden was told by FSU that he needs to go to Switzerland to pick up a lifetime achievement award.
After several months of difficult negotiations, the San Francisco 49ers and wide receiver Michael Crabtree agreed to a six-year contract, thanks in part to MC Hammer, who helped in advising the receiver
While Hammer was not able to get Crabtree more money, he did get the 49ers to agree to become the first team in the NFL to play a entire game in parachute pants.
Despite a report to the contrary, Tiger Woods has told reporters that he is not a billionaire
An irate Woods was quoted as saying "Who told you this? Was it my butler? My maid? Was it one of the pilots from the fleet of jets I own? I know, it was that damned Bill Gates. I knew I shouldn't have lent him money!"
Jaimie Foxx has expressed interest in playing Mike Tyson in a new movie
Foxx said the role will be difficult for him, because he is used to chewing up scenery, not ears.
After admitting to having affairs with several female coworkers, the National Organization for Women has sharply criticized comedian David Letterman, accusing him of promoting a hostile, uncomfortable work environment
CBS is trying to address this concern, although some feel they are being counterproductive with their first compromise: The Late Show with Isaiah Thomas.
For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.
That's all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that if David Letterman gets fired from the Late Show, he could always run for Governor of South Carolina.