Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Eva Longoria has filed for divorce from San Antonio Spurs player Tony Parker after Parker cheated on her.
Wow. If you can't trust a young, French, rich professional athlete not to fool around, who can you trust?

Longoria allegedly found hundreds of text messages on Parker's phone from the wife of one of his former teammates Brent Barry.
So Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria with Brent Barry's wife, which means "former slam dunk champion" will no longer be the most shocking thing on Barry's Wikipedia page.

Parker has not commented on the infidelity rumors or the divorce.
This is not surprising. Parker plays on the Spurs and if you've ever seen San Antonio play, you know that none of their players ever admit to touching anyone.

The University of Oregon is accusing the Cal football team of faking injuries during their game in order to slow down the potent Ducks offense.
Cal players deny this accusation, but do admit to faking injuries on occasion to obtain medical marijuana cards.

Manny Pacquiao defeated Mexico's Antonio Margarito by unanimous decision on Saturday.
Pacquiao has now eliminated so many Mexicans he's earned the nickname "SB1070."

San Diego Padres manager Bud Black won MLB Manager of the Year on Wednesday.
Witnesses say his acceptance speech was going great but became hard to understand when Black started choking near the end.

An 8-year-old New York Jets fan was tackled by an adult Browns fan after Sunday's game, according to a television station in Cleveland.
No charges were filed because after all , the kid was wearing a Lebron James jersey.

Zenyatta officially has been retired and her new home beginning next month will be Lane's End Farm near Versailles, Ky., the farm announced Wednesday.
The farm is a well known place for retired horses. In fact, that's where John Kerry went after the 2004 election.

Tiger Woods, in a first-person essay published Wednesday, said he's "regaining the balance that I'd lost" before his car accident a year ago sent his life into a tailspin.
The essay was the first published work by Woods that didn't begin with "Dear Penthouse."

Michael Vick had 6 touchdowns Monday night in the Eagles win over the Redskins.
Fans in attendance say Vick destroyed the Redskins like they were a pitbull he lost money on.

That's all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying if only Prince William had waited a few more days he could have had Eva Longoria.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.