Register | Forgot Your Password? | Close
Bonneville Phoenix Network
 KTAR News
 Arizona Sports
Login or Register

In honor of Thanksgiving, I'd like to share a few things I'm thankful for

I am thankful for my friends and my family,
For their support, kindness and love.
I am thankful for rainbows and puppy dogs
Brought down from the good lord above.

I'm thankful for the beautiful sunrise
Glistening off the dew in the morn.
I‘m thankful laughter and happiness
And most importantly, internet porn.

I'm thankful I'm not North Korean,
Or from Iraq or Afghanistan.
I'm thankful to live in America
Where Four Loco is death in a can.

I'm thankful for Brian Wilson's beard,
San Francisco is filled with euphoria.
I'm thankful for Tony Parker's cheating,
Now I've got a shot at Eva Longoria.

I'm thankful for the Arizona D-backs,
If only they had a reliever.
But not for Max Hall or DA,
Who can't seem to find receiver.

I'm thankful I'm not Wesley Snipes,
Or Lindsay or Charlie Sheen.
I'm thankful I'm not Mel Gibson,
Not a fan, if you know what I mean.

I'm thankful for NFL violence,
Though concussions leave players in fogs.
And that Michael Vick's murdering defenses,
Instead of just murdering dogs.

I'm thankful I don't like the Cowboys,
Or the Vikings and Brett Favre the perv.
I'm thankful for Steve Nash's passes,
Give him the title he richly deserves.

And finally I am so thankful
For sports and movies and shows,
Because I'll always have material
At the expense of celebrity woes.

That's all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter and remember this is Jarrett Carlen thanking the TSA at Sky Harbor for giving me the most action I've had in a long time.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

share this story:
Attention Comment Users: We have recently changed our comments boards.
We would like you to be part of the conversation with all fans of Arizona sports teams by logging in with your Facebook, Twitter, Google+ or Disqus account. Existing Arizona Sports (KTAR) account members will need to create a Disqus account or use one of the aforementioned social media logins. Thank you.
comments powered by Disqus