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J.D. Martinez’s agent keeps making hilarious metaphors

Sports agent Scott Boras responds to a question from the media during Major League Baseball's winter meetings in Oxon Hill, Md., Wednesday, Dec. 7, 2016. (AP Photo/Cliff Owen)

The agent for D-backs slugger J.D. Martinez, Scott Boras, is well-known. He’s perhaps the most recognizable player agent in baseball, but now he’s getting some attention for a different reason.

As baseball’s annual GM meetings went on in Florida this week, reporters were there to capture all the action and get insight from executives, agents and more. But Boras’ thoughts on his clients were … different.

Boras already raised a few eyebrows last week with this quote about Martinez, who is a free agent after joining the D-backs in a trade this season.

But it didn’t stop there. In discussing Cubs free agent pitcher Jake Arrieta, Boras compared him to a squirrel with a lot of nuts.

Kansas City Royals infielder-turned-free agent Eric Hosmer is, apparently, a ticket to playoff-ville, a promised land that Boras references on more than one occasion:

The LA Times’ Andy McCullough eventually realized the historic level of Boras’ metaphors, and called it a “command performance” when the big-time agent talked about teams’ ability to pay players:

And for good measure, he added one last metaphor about Martinez:

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