1) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS: I don’t care how bad they are, they deserve this “honor” for a week.
2) HOUSTON TEXANS: Second in points scored and fourth in points allowed, sixth in rushing offense and seconnd in rush defense…now the real test, at New England for Monday Night Football.
3) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS: Only two QBs are +21 in TD to INT ratio and Brady has been sacked 20 fewer times with 400 more yards passing than the other QB (Rodgers)…will move to #1 after beating Houston.
4) ATLANTA FALCONS: Only team with two receivers in the top 11 in yards…5 of their final 6 is in the division with only a Giant home game in the middle.
5) DENVER BRONCOS: Opponents have lost over 250 yards getting sacked while Denver is still in double digits of yards lost…other than blowing out Oakland at home, average win is only 12 points.
6) BALTIMORE RAVENS: Joe Flacco is completing below 60% of his passes, worse than Christian Ponder, Ryan Fitzpatrick, Carson Palmer and (wait for it) Kevin Kolb…toughest four-game stretch to finish than any other team.
7) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS: Still has a Sunday Night Football game at New England…allowing only 14 points/game (yeah, that’s best in the league).
8) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS: No QB has ever been drafted first overall and won 8 games, until now…keep in mind everything Luck is doing is with the 7th-worst scoring defense so he has to put up a lot of points.
9) GREEN BAY PACKERS: Every stat says they have an average defense, which is really all they need…shockingly their offense is ranked 15th as well.
10) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS: Russell Wilson is the 7th highest rated passer…in the playoffs right now by one game, by one Hail Mary, by one simultaneous catch, by one replacement official.
11) PITTSBURGH STEELERS: Charlie Batch…yeah, that’s all I have to say, he deserves the spotlight.
12) CHICAGO BEARS: All the accolades for this defense and a rookie drove 97 yards against you in regulation at home and then marched down the field for a winning OT TD?
13) NEW YORK GIANTS: 1-3 in their last four and still has a two-game roadie to Atlanta and Baltimore.
14) WASHINGTON REDSKINS: RGIII is now the second-highest rated passer in the NFL (let that sink in)…three-game losing streak before bye that Shanahan declared time to look at 2013, 3-0 after bye with all thee wins in the division.
15) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS: Worse than Green Bay who lost the game, this might be the victim of the replacement refs in Seattle with a 3-1 finish to end 9-7…#1 against the run because they can’t stop the pass (#32).
16) CINCINNATI BENGALS: Three-game winning streak leads to four-game losing streak leads to four-game winning streak…every stat says they’re slightly above average and they’re 7-5.
17) MINNESOTA VIKINGS: Passing offense averages 17 fewer yards/game than Arizona’s (yea, that’s #32).
18) DALLAS COWBOYS: After every year we’re left wondering is Tony Romo a good QB…until Jason Garrett figures out how to run the ball (#30 in rush offense), this will always be a .500 team.
19) ST. LOUIS RAMS: Look out, despite three of last four on the road they could be in the middle of a five-game losing streak…for all the crap Cam Newton takes, he’s better statistically than Bradford.
20) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS: Not only the worst total defense but the worst by 40 yards/game…it’s great that you’re the third-best in total offense but when you lead the NFL in INTs, is it worth it?
21) NEW YORK JETS: It’s amazing there have been five teams so unprepared to play that this team could beat them.
22) MIAMI DOLPHINS: Cincinnati will be kicking themselves if they miss the playoffs for losing to this team…still have to travel to San Francisco and New England.
23) BUFFALO BILLS: Spent way too much money on defense to be the third-worst rush defense…8-8 is not of the question with three of the last four at “home”.
24) TENNESSEE TITANS: Still wondering why they drafted Locker in the first place…after a tough start, Chris Johnson is up to 5 yards/carry.
25) DETROIT LIONS: Only two games this year have been determined by more than one possession…far and away the #1 passing offense but that just leads to stats since they’re only #13 in passing TDs and just +7 in TD to INT ratio.
26) CLEVELAND BROWNS: Barely reaching 30% third down conversion rate, conveniently enough that ranks 30th.
27) CAROLINA PANTHERS: Not a good enough team to give up 140 more yards than their opponents in penalties.
28) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS: Only four wins and they’ve already cashed in both free wins against KC…in October, November and December = 1 win.
29) ARIZONA CARDINALS: Take a guess who’s the only team to lose 300 yards due to sacks (only 8 teams have even lost 200)…the win against Philly is the only thing keeping their rank in the twenties.
30) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: I have no respect for most of their players for the fact they’ve quit on Andy Reid.
31) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS: Tell me if rushing the ball is important (#32) or defending the rush is important (#31).
32) OAKLAND RAIDERS: I don’t care how bad you are, losing in December to a three-win team in your house is a joke…Nine losses yet only their third within one possession.