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The 5: Reasons why I could never root for the San Antonio Spurs

There are certain things in this world that I just don’t do, and rooting for the Spurs is certainly in my top five.

Some in this world (lookin’ at you Gambo) believe that a hatred for the Miami Heat and their ambitious goal of global domination through talent consolidation is more vile-worthy than the Spurs.

Sounds to me like someone has lost their way.

So for this edition of The Five, here are the five reasons why I could never root for the Spurs:

1. My own weakness – I should be over the past disappointments; be the bigger man kinda thing. And it’s true, the Horry hip check, the suspensions, all the playoff losses do feel like they’re a from another time and place. In a perfect world none of it should matter anymore. It’s not a perfect world. I’m actually encouraged that I still hate the Spurs. It means that somewhere way deep inside, I still love the Suns. Yeah, I know, I’m sick, right?

2. Gregg Popovich is a cyborg – Normal, human coaches would have long since fallen victim to a sub-.500 season or a lottery pick here or there. Instead there’s that stat Gambo had the other day: since the Spurs made their last appearance in the NBA Finals, no team has won more games than…the Spurs. That feat, in a league that punishes you for getting old, with no high draft picks or big money free agents is proof that Pop is half man, half machine. And maybe the best coach in the history of the league.

3. The Big Shaq-tus/Terry Porter Era – Put another notch in the “get over it” column. In their desperate attempt to solve the Spurs, the Suns put their fans through a year they’ll never get back.

4. Leonard, Green, Splitter, etc, etc. – Scares me to death that this team isn’t going anywhere even if/when Tim Duncan decides to call it quits and along those lines…

5. Retirement – If you could promise me (“Do you know what a blood oath is Mr. Ness?”) that Duncan, Manu Ginobili and Popovich would all call it quits if they won the NBA Finals, then maybe…maybe. Nope. I hate ‘em.