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Sports Kabob – 5/13

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Manny Ramirez was suspended by Major League Baseball for 50 games after testing positive for a female fertility drug
According to inside sources, this is the same reason that the octomom was released from her contract with the Red Sox

Former NBA player Corie Blount was sentenced to one year in prison on Wednesday in a plea arrangement resulting from drug charges. Blount was arrested Dec. 4 after sheriff’s deputies intercepted 11 pounds of marijuana sent to him at a relative’s house. Investigators said they found another 18 pounds in a subsequent search of his home.
When most NBA players say they want to be like Mike, they are referring to Michael Jordan, but apparently Blount was referring to Michael Phelps

Hundreds of mourners filled a South Florida church Wednesday to say farewell to Hall of Fame coach Chuck Daly.
Among the mourners were Isaiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, and Tiger Woods, who it should be pointed out only attended because when he heard that Daly died, he assumed it must have been John

A former associate of NBA star O.J. Mayo has told Yahoo! Sports that Southern California basketball coach Tim Floyd paid to help get Mayo to play for the Trojans.
While this is a big deal, it is interesting to note that this is not even close to the most scandalous thing to happen in Southern California involving an athlete named OJ

The French Tennis Federation has chosen an architect for a new retractable roof that will be ready for any rain delays as of 2011.
Because the roof is French, it will have a special feature installed that will cause it to retract immediately at the first sign of danger

Roger Clemens ended his long media silence Tuesday on ESPN Radio’s “Mike and Mike in the Morning,” calling excerpts of a recently released book about him “completely false.”
Unfortunately, the book he was referring to is entitled Roger Clemens is Not a Cheater

Los Angeles Sparks star Candace Parker has given birth to a baby girl. It is the first child for the WNBA’s reigning MVP and rookie of the year and husband Shelden Williams of the Minnesota Timberwolves.
The birth was quick but very painful for Parker because it turned out that the baby had her father’s head

Terrell Owens will begin filming his VH1 reality show this Sunday
The show will be called I Really, Really Love Money

The Delaware Senate voted in favor of Gov. Jack Markell’s proposal to legalize sports betting in the state on Tuesday by a vote of 17-2. Markell is expected to sign the bill into law later this week.
In a related note, Janet Gretzky has begun to push for the Coyotes to leave Arizona for Dover

For the second year in a row, Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo has fallen short in his attempt to advance to sectional qualifying for the U.S. Open
Romo finished with a much higher number than he was hoping, much like girlfriend Jessica Simpson did last time she got on a scale

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying Miss California may not have lost her crown, but I think I saw pictures of her in which she lost her top.