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Sports Kabob – 8/19

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

On Tuesday, Brett Favre held a press conference announcing that he was returning to play for the Minnesota Vikings
Favre answered questions for nearly 30 minutes at the Vikings facility. Favre said he enjoyed the experience and plans to hold all future retirement and comeback press conferences there

Favre signed a 2 year contract with the Vikings, a move that has already caused lots of excitement
In fact, Favre’s unretirement press conference was then immediately followed by John Madden’s unretirement press conference

Local merchants, as well as the Vikings online store has already sold tons of Brett Favre merchandise, including jerseys and hats
In fact, experts say this is the most purple clothing sold in Minnesota since Prince’s garage sale last year

The Vikings have also sold more than 3,000 season tickets since news broke that Brett Favre was coming to Minnesota
Also, in anticipation of his arrival, local Minnesota pharmacies have stocked up on their supplies of Vicodin and Oxycodone

Former Vikings quarterback Fran Tarkenton has been very critical of Favre and called the entire situation a circus
Tarkenton went on to say that these criticisms were hard to make since Favre was Fran’s favorite player as a child

Y.E. Yang shocked he world by winning the PGA Championship on Sunday, becoming the first Asian born player to win a major
However, it should be noted that Bill Clinton has already been sent to Korea to negotiate the release of Tiger Woods’ championship trophy

Oakland Raiders head coach Tom Cable denied reports, which surfaced Monday, that he punched defensive assistant Randy Hanson in the jaw and caused injuries that required treatment at a hospital earlier this month.
If the report is true, it would be the first time in years that a Raider had successfully laid a clean hit on anyone

President Obama met with nine of the 12 drivers who competed last year for NASCAR’s top prize
And in a related story, NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield spent the day in a Meth Lab with some guy who referred to himself as the “Black President”

Obama met with many of the top drivers including Jimmy Johnson and Tony Stewart
However, it should be pointed out that many of the NASCAR drivers only showed up because they heard that the White House now served beer

South Africa’s track and field federation has been asked to conduct a gender test on athlete Caster Semenya, amid concerns she does not meet the requirements to compete as a woman.
Suspicion first arose when Semenya successfully competed in the pole vault without using any equipment

For more of my observations on sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on Twitter at JarrettGC

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen telling you to tune into the next episode of “Shaq vs” when I take on the Big Diesel in a joke writing contest