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Sports Kabob – 2/24

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

A day after winning the Gold in the Super-combined, American skier Bode Miller did not medal in giant slalom after missing a gate in his first run
This was the most disappointing performance following a great moment since everything Barack Obama’s done after his inauguration

Apolo Ohno earned the bronze medal in the Men’s 1000 meter race to become the most decorated U.S. winter Olympian of all time
Although, after looking at their outfits, I’d vote that there are several male figure skaters who are much more decorated

Lindsey Vonn of the United States did not finish her first run of the women’s giant slalom at the Vancouver Olympics, thwarting her hopes to add to the American Alpine skiing medal haul. Vonn broke her pinkie in the crash
This was the latest in hand related news at the Olympics. The injury to an American skier’s pinkie came just 2 days after the American hockey team gave all of Canada the middle finger

Adding fuel to the fire that Yevgeny Plushenko has been a sore loser in his defeat to America’s Evan Lysacek , on the morning of Tuesday February 23, the Russian skater’s official website featured a brand new accomplishment. The “platinum” medal from the 2010 Vancouver Olympics
This move has upset many male skaters because while the Gold medal is considered the most prestigious, the platinum medal is considered to be the most “fabulous”

Derek Jeter reiterated what every Yankees fan wanted to hear: He hopes to play in pinstripes forever, wanting to finish his career with New York
Also wanting him to finish his career in New York? The single females of Manhattan

Major League Baseball hopes to test minor leaguers for human growth hormone this year following the suspension of a British rugby player who admitted using the substance.
The first player they’ll test? Las Vegas slugger “Giant Head” Mcgee

Ozzie Guillen’s already going to star in a reality series starting in July. Now the colorful manager of the Chicago White Sox has a Twitter account
Reports say Guillen has been tweeting so much, that he already has worn out the “F” button on his keyboard

Recently acquired Washington Wizards forward Josh Howard will miss the remainder of the season after tearing the anterior cruciate ligament in his left knee.
The Wizards want Howard to see a doctor immediately, but Josh claims that he prefers to “self-medicate”

Former Oakland Raiders assistant Randy Hanson sued head coach Tom Cable and the team on Tuesday for damages suffered during a training camp scuffle that resulted in Hanson being treated for a fractured jaw and broken teeth.
Cable will not hire an attorney for the trial as he says that he prefers to “let his fists do the talking”

University of Mississippi students voted Tuesday for the school to pursue a new mascot to replace Colonel Reb, the goateed Southern gent banished from the sidelines nearly seven years ago as the school continued its move away from symbols of the Old South.
The school has already rejected the students’ first choice for a replacement: Ku Klux Klan Pete

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that I wasn’t going to write a column this week, but to everyone’s surprise Scott Brown voted that I should.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.