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Sports Kabob – 3/3

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Team Canada defeated the USA in overtime to win the gold medal in the Olympics
With the win, experts are saying that Canada may finally develop some interest in the sport of hockey

In an ABC News/ESPN poll 54 percent of over 1,000 respondents said that Tiger Woods was sincere when he said he was sorry for the damage done by his admitted extramarital affairs. But only 39 percent had a favorable impression of the golfer after his admission
However, while the poll showed that the public had a negative impression of Tiger, it did show that most had a favorable impression of Tiger’s pole

Reports say Bill Clinton contacted Tiger Woods to offer him support
Well, support in the sense that he asked if he needed a wing man

Tiger Woods is back at home after a week of family counseling in Arizona and is trying to get into a routine that includes golf and fitness, a person with knowledge of his schedule said Tuesday.
Of course this time Tiger’s fitness schedule will include running and weight lifting, as opposed to what his fitness schedule used to consist of: repeated pelvic thrusts

John Daly has prompted his followers on Twitter to complain to a Florida sportswriter whose story published Tuesday outlined the golfer’s lengthy PGA Tour disciplinary file, as reported from public court documents. Daly referred to Florida Times-Union golf writer Garry Smits as a “jerk” and posted the writer’s personal cell phone number
Of course, most of the message posted to his Twitter account was misspelled and jumbled, since Daly was drunk when he wrote it

John Calipari was still sporting a bandage on his right hand Tuesday, an injury he said happened when he banged his hand against a clip board during a timeout in the first half of the No. 3 Wildcats’ loss Saturday in Knoxville.
Now, Calipari banged a clipboard, which is not to be confused with Rick Pitino, who banged a waitress

Peyton Manning has undergone a surgical procedure to relieve pain in his neck caused by a pinched nerve, the Indianapolis Colts said Wednesday.
And following that throw in the Super Bowl, there’s no word on whether or not Manning will also have a surgical procedure to remove his head from his ass

Known for his touchdown celebrations in the end zone, Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco is taking his act from the gridiron to the stage as a contestant on the upcoming season of “Dancing With the Stars.”
And to prove he’s serious about winning, Ochocinco has already changed his name to Chad Ochotango

With minutes to go until his exclusive negotiating window was to expire, Jordan struck a deal late Friday night to buy controlling interest of the Charlotte Bobcats, putting the six-time NBA champion in charge of the money-losing team in his home state.
Of course had Jordan sunk the putt on the 18th, he would have acquired the Boston Celtics

Yoshida, the petite 18-year-old who became the first female drafted by a Japanese professional team, made her pro debut on March 26, 2009, at the Osaka Dome. She learned how to throw a knuckleball as a young girl by watching video of Tim Wakefield.
Yoshida’s control is said to be excellent, except for 5-7 days each month when she is unpredictable and erratic

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that with 1-2 months of training, I think I can be on the 2014 US curling team.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.