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Sports Kabob – 8/25

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The Cardinals have a quarterback controversy brewing as neither Matt Leinart nor Derek Anderson have looked good during the preseason so far
In fact, experts saying choosing between Leinart and Anderson at QB is like having to choose between Lindsay Lohan and Snooki as your designated driver

Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren are officially divorced as of this week.
So Tiger Woods in now single – or, as he says, “still single”

Elin sat down with People Magazine and gave an in-depth interview on her reaction to the divorce and opinion on what happened with her husband’s infidelities
Tiger also gave a full description of what happened, though his report will be featured in Penthouse Forum

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell says the league is targeting 2012 for an 18-game season.
And in 2032 news, hundreds of NFL football players have died from concussion related injuries

Team USA routed Greece in the final exhibition game for the World Championships
Greeks haven’t been this disappointed since Rebecca Romijn broke up with John Stamos

Jim Furyk was disqualified from the Barclays tournament at Ridgewood Country Club in Paramus, N.J., after he overslept and missed his 7:30 a.m. pro-am tee time Wednesday
In all fairness to Furyk, he only fell asleep because he was watching golf on TV

Denver’s Carmelo Anthony and Orlando’s Dwight Howard will star in a basketball film with an award-winning Chinese director titled “Amazing.”
This is not the first movie to feature NBA stars. Kareem Abdul Jabbar appeared in “Airplane,” Ray Allen appeared in “He Got Game,” and Wilt Chamberlain appeared in numerous pornographic snuff films

NASCAR reinstated former driver Randy LaJoie on Wednesday following his suspension for a failed drug test. LaJoie was suspended in June for violating NASCAR’s substance abuse policy. He said at the time he had smoked marijuana in May, and in reinstating him, NASCAR said he successfully completed a counseling program
Officials said they first noticed a problem with LaJoie when he followed John Andretti’s Taco Bell car all over the track

Former two-time heavyweight titlist Nikolai Valuev of Russia will undergo surgery on his left shoulder and right wrist next week to take care of nagging injuries, according to his promoters.
Next up, a surgery to remove Floyd Mayweather’s head from his butt so he will finally fight Manny Pacquiao

Lions fan Joe Paquette Jr. says he walked some 400 miles from his home in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula to the Motor City to watch a Detroit practice
Paquette says he didn’t plan on walking all that way, but the American car he bought from a Detroit plant broke down on the way there

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying I am thinking of holding out until I am the highest paid writer at my position

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.