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Sports Kabob – 9/22

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Reggie Bush will miss “at least” six weeks after suffering a right leg injury in the Saints’ Week 2 win over San Francisco
Experts say Bush not playing could cost the Saints 1 or 2 wins, which is ironic because at USC, Bush playing cost USC 13 wins

Bush says that he hopes with aggressive rehab he will no longer have the pain in his leg.
That’s the pain in his leg. The pain in his ass he got rid of a few months ago when he broke up with Kim Kardashian

Darrelle Revis was not on the practice field for the New York Jets, and later coach Rex Ryan said he will not play Sunday against the Dolphins.
“What was I to do?” says Revis of his injury. “It’s not like the Jets had a mandatory, several week long gathering to work on training and conditioning before the season.”

Kurt Warner advanced to the second week of Dancing with the Stars
Meanwhile, Derek Anderson is about to start week 3 of Screwing with the Fans

Michael Vick will take over as the Philadelphia Eagles’ No. 1 quarterback, coach Andy Reid said Tuesday, a day after he announced he would go back to Kevin Kolb.
Vick said this was the biggest change of plans he’s had to deal with since his dog electrocution machine went on the fritz and he had to drown the animals with his bare hands instead

Dodgers manager Joe Torre said Tuesday he was sorry for saying he was curious about the New York Mets job and current Mets manager Jerry Manuel accepted the apology after taking offense earlier in the day.
In all fairness, the insinuation that Joe Torre would coach Mets is fair more insulting and offensive to Joe Torre

Mets closer Francisco Rodriguez is scheduled to face contempt charges that he violated a judge’s order not to contact his girlfriend. Queens District Attorney Richard Brown says Rodriguez is to be arraigned on Wednesday on charges that he violated an order of protection by sending text messages to his girlfriend.
Upon hearing this, Rodriguez released a statement saying “FML”

The Arizona Diamondbacks have set a dubious record: most strikeouts by batters in a season.
The previous record for most times striking out was set by female groupies trying to hook up with the male cast of “Glee”

Jets reporter Ines Sainz has stopped covering the team after allegations that she was sexually harassed.
Experts applaud Sainz on that front, but are already questioning her next job choice : working for Bishop Eddie Long’s church

Following the Cowboys 0-2 start, Coach Wade Phillips says that he “can’t sleep and can’t eat.”
He then went on to say, “Well, I can eat.”

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen leaving early to get drinks with Braylon Edwards, though I’ll be taking a cab home

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.