Phoenix: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride

Jun 14, 2012, 6:28 PM | Updated: 7:30 pm

While the Los Angeles Kings skated around with Lord
Stanley’s Cup at the Staples Center on Monday night,
something became abundantly clear. Although the movie
Bridesmaids is funny, it’s not a funny position for
Arizona’s professional sports teams to keep finding
themselves in.

The Kings’ win made the old cliche ‘always the bridesmaid
and never the bride’ the perfect slogan for Valley sports
teams. For the 17th time since professional sports first
called the state home in 1968, a local team lost in the
playoffs to the eventual champions.

It’s becoming an all too familiar occurrence in Arizona. A
team has a good or great regular season and an impressive
postseason run only to see all championship aspirations
snuffed out like a Don Draper cigarette by a team that
would eventually reach the pinnacle of their sport.

It’s these moments that haunt the souls of the local
sports fans. The ghosts of a John Paxson three, a Santonio
Holmes one-footed — and yes I still contest his second
food still hasn’t touched the ground — touchdown, a
Saints bountied dirty hit on Kurt Warner,
a Robert Horry hip check (remember, that’s basketball, not
hockey) and this year’s penalty-riddled Western Conference
Final for the Coyotes, are forever trapped in fans’ minds
like some sort of cruel instant replay.

As the great American philosopher Ferris Bueller would
say, “how’s that for being born under a bad sign?”

Now, I won’t go as far as claiming there is some kind of
curse on the city. I’ll leave that for Chicagoans and
Clevelanders to say about their city. Maybe Valley teams
are unlucky or have never truly constructed rosters better
than their opponents. Whatever the reasoning, something
has to change, because our beloved franchises are becoming
the sports version of Katherine Heigl’s character in 27
Dresses
.

While we’ve been to the holy altar of sports once with the
2001 Diamondbacks, the question is: will we get there
again
anytime soon? The Suns are in full rebuilding mode, the D-
backs are an enigma right now (or at least their star
player is, according to team owner Ken Kendrick) and the
Cardinals can’t even think about the playoffs until they
decide if they’re going with Kevin “Concussion Test” Kolb
or John “Better Lucky Than Good” Skelton at starting
quarterback. The Coyotes are probably the closest to the
holy grail but they just got out of the first round for
the first time in team history and could just as easily be
signing their name to a lease in a new city — if the
cartoonishly evil Goldwater Institute gets its way — than
putting it on Lord Stanley’s Cup.

The eternal bridesmaid is waiting for that ring, so are
three out of four major sports teams in town. The
question is, just how long will they continue to be part
of someone else’s road to happiness rather than embarking
on their own? Unfortunately for fans, if the last 45 years
have been any indication, it’ll probably be awhile.

Zac Gallen...

Arizona Sports

Diamondbacks agree to TV, cable and satellite channel contracts

The Arizona Diamondbacks will air on linear TV channels as well as streams under an MLB-produced broadcast partnership in 2024.

3 hours ago

Nikola Jokic #15 of the Denver Nuggets is guarded by Kevin Durant #35 of the Phoenix Suns during th...

Kellan Olson

Suns respond to season’s low point with thorough win over Nuggets

The guessing game of which Suns team shows up on which night persists. The best current version did on Wednesday in a win over the Nuggets.

10 hours ago

Bradley Beal #3 of the Phoenix Suns looks on during the second half against the Boston Celtics at T...

David Veenstra

Bradley Beal in, Jusuf Nurkic out for Suns’ matchup with Nuggets

Phoenix Suns guard Bradley Beal is active for Wednesday's matchup with the Denver Nuggets while center Jusuf Nurkic is out.

14 hours ago

...

Arizona Sports Video

Video: If the Arizona Cardinals trade down, how far is too far?

Burns & Gambo discuss if the Arizona Cardinals trade down, how far is too far?

14 hours ago

Keshad Johnson #16 and Pelle Larsson #3 of the Arizona Wildcats speak at a press conference before ...

Damon Allred

Grind of final Pac-12 season prepared Arizona basketball for March

No. 2 Arizona men's basketball will look to make it past the Sweet 16 for the first time in Tommy Lloyd's tenure.

15 hours ago

Caitlin Clark celebrates...

Associated Press

Iowa’s Caitlin Clark is inspiring a younger generation of players

Caitlin Clark's deep range has expanded the scope of possibilities for up-and-coming women's basketball players.

16 hours ago

Phoenix: Always a bridesmaid, never a bride