PAUL CALVISI

Suns game smells — fishy, fishy

Apr 10, 2013, 6:55 PM | Updated: 7:01 pm

Right now, there are two things that I just can’t get out of my head.

First, that McDonald’s TV commercial. We’ve all seen and heard it. Fishy, Fishy.

Second, I can’t rid my mind of how the Suns game ended in Houston. Fishy, Fishy.

With the score tied and a game winning shot attempt in the air with no time on the clock, Jermaine O’Neal committed an egregious goaltend. Game over.

Congratulations — the Phoenix Suns just invented a new way to lose. In some ways, it was truly ingenious and innovative, to be sure. But it was something else as well — very beneficial.

Let’s not forget, the Suns are currently engaged in a very tight race. No, it’s certainly not the playoff race. #JimMora #Playoffs?!

In hindsight, the Suns were mathematically eliminated from the postseason the very moment they signed Michael Beasley. (Cue Coach Singletary – “I want winners!”)

At the moment, the Suns are 1 ½ games worse than the Cavaliers, which means they’re 1 ½ games ahead of Cleveland for what both teams lust after — that third slot behind Charlotte and Orlando for worst record in the NBA.

(By the way, kudos to the Cavs, who blew a 20 point lead in the 4th quarter to win.. err, lose to the Pacers. Fishy, Fishy.)

Hence, Paulie Ping Pong Ball simply ain’t buying that a 17-year veteran somehow commits an innocent game-losing goaltend at the buzzer. Sorry, considering the circumstances, it’s really not plausible. Not when he touched the ball and the rim. You know, for good measure, just in case the officials missed one or the other. Fishy, Fishy.

Although the Suns sort of mustered up an argument and feigned insolence, the video review was an absolute slam dunk. Game over. (Cue Al McCoy: “Suns Lose! Err, wait…Suns Win!”)

After the game, O’Neal went thru the motions of protesting the ruling (wink, wink).

“It was off the rim, for sure,” O’Neal said. “He (ref) is saying it was still in the cylinder when I did it. The problem is that they called a goaltend and counted the basket before they did the review. So there’s not enough evidence to change the call.”

Here’s what the reporters should’ve written down on their notepads: “Fishy, Fishy.”

Let’s just say that the referee had a different assessment, with video replay serving as indisputable evidence.

“Jermaine O’Neal touched it while it was in the cylinder,” David Jones told a pool reporter. “The ball was on the rim and in the cylinder.”

Look, if NBA teams didn’t tank games in the past, we wouldn’t even have the current lottery system. Tanking games is not akin to a Big Foot sighting. It exists beyond doctored photos.

Furthermore, when the Suns strategically benched Goran Dragic for two straight games recently, let’s just say their motivation came into question. Fishy, Fishy.

So, as non-playoff teams play out the string and jockey for position, let’s all remember that the best indicator of the future is the past. Ten straight losses for the Suns. Fifteen of their last 17. We know the Suns are planning to lose, we’re just not sure how. Fishy, Fishy.

Comments

Comment guidelines: No name-calling, personal attacks, profanity, or insults. Please keep the conversation civil and help us moderate comments by reporting abuse.
comments powered by Disqus

Paul Calvisi

Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray (1) throws against the Buffalo Bills during the first ha...

Henry Schleizer

Warner: Cardinals will be better if Kyler Murray makes more ‘lay-ups’

Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kyler Murray made a leap in 2020, but Kurt Warner thinks Murray still has room to grow in his game.

3 years ago

Follow @CallMeMaloney...

Erin Maloney

Arizona Sports Fantasy Host League Playoffs: Round 1 recap

Round 1 of the Fantasy Football playoffs for the 98.7 FM Arizona Sports Host League saw close games until the end. Find out who won in this week’s recap.

6 years ago

Follow @CallMeMaloney...

Erin Maloney

Arizona Sports Fantasy Host League Playoffs: Round 1 preview

Each week, we’ll give you a preview of the Arizona Sports Host League matchups and get you caught up on all the trades and waiver claims the hosts made.

6 years ago

Follow @CallMeMaloney...

Erin Maloney

Arizona Sports Fantasy Football Host League: Week 13 recap

Week 13 of the Fantasy Football season for the 98.7 FM Arizona Sports Host League saw three teams score higher than 145 points. Find out who won and more in this week’s recap.

6 years ago

Follow @CallMeMaloney...

Erin Maloney

Arizona Sports Fantasy Host League: Week 13 preview

Each week, we’ll give you a preview of the Arizona Sports Host League matchups and get you caught up on all the trades and waiver claims the hosts made.

6 years ago

Follow @CallMeMaloney...

Erin Maloney

Arizona Sports Fantasy Football Host League: Week 12 recap

Week 12 of the Fantasy Football season for the 98.7 FM Arizona Sports Host League saw seven of the teams score more than 100 points. Find out who won and more in this week’s recap.

6 years ago

Suns game smells — fishy, fishy