Who says Steve Nash can’t slam? Paulie Roundball says that Nash recently turned in the most emphatic and important slam of the post-Amar’e era.
Notice that I left out the word “dunk.” That’s not a mistake. See, a couple of weeks ago, the Diminutive-American (by NBA standards) didn’t slam dunk the basketball at all.
Instead, Nash slammed the ball off the hardwood. A two-hand wham-bam-slam (ding, Al McCoy) off the court near the Suns bench. It super-balled high into the air, where the ball wound up in the second row of seats in the Suns’ high-rent district at US Airways Center.
Translation: for maybe the first time ever, the palpable frustration was on display for all the Suns to see. (Not to mention the home crowd, the TV audience, and the Cleveland Cavaliers, who were then surgically dismantled by Dr. Nash in the 4th quarter.)
Although the Suns went on to get smashcaked (a 132-98 loss) in their next game, thereby establishing a new low in the Mile High City, the Suns then embarked on a 4-game winning streak.
Here’s our theory: just like the honkin’ huge Marshawn Lynch playoff TD run registered on Seattle seismographs, the Nash Slam has become the meteor that hit Planet Orange.
If nothing else, it altered atmospheric conditions, effectively ushering in the arrival of Planet Orange Vests and Planet Orange Cones. If NBA uniforms had sleeves, it was time to roll ‘em up. Put a hard hat on The Gorilla. Set up a temporary chain link fence circling US Airways Center. Then erect the scaffolding. And don’t forget a honkin’ huge sign that reads – “Under Construction…Men at Work…In-Season.”
I mean, talk about a perfect episode of “Extreme Engineering” for the Discovery Channel. If Nash is able to take this twisted pile of small forwards, steel girders, dry wall, lumbering post players (minus a power forward), and somehow duct tape together an NBA Playoff team? Well, Nash should be voted into the Architect Hall of Fame alongside Frank Lloyd Wright. (In fact, forget a key to the city; give Nash a key to Taliesin.)
Actually, if Nash somehow figures out this Rubik’s Cube of a roster, then Calvisi Consulting would like to retain his services to address future pressing agendas, including: resolving the national debt, curbing global warming, and getting MTV to cancel Jersey Shore.
In some ways, it’s the only intrigue left: can Nash get his team off this deserted island. It’s our next reality show – “Survivor: Planet Orange.”
Or, then again, we might be looking at an all new season of “Lost.” Lost games. Lost opportunities. And lost season ticket holders – if Frank Lloyd Nash can’t produce = Planet Blue(Print).