Well it finally happened.
With the NFL season upon us, Arizona Sports held its first ever fantasy football draft for a league made up entirely of show hosts – the Fantasy Outsiders. For some of the contestants, this represents their first foray into the world of fantasy football. For others, well, this is just another excuse to taunt and mock their co-workers.
Like all good leagues, the Fantasy Outsiders held their draft in person in the radio station’s conference room. And the running dialogue throughout the evening provided plenty of entertainment. When the draft order was officially drawn, Doug Franz held the first pick, which he promptly used on Le’Veon Bell. Here’s a scouting report on each of the ten owners, in reverse draft order…
- Dave Burns (Burns and Gambo) – Savvy fantasy football vet who loaded up on elite receivers and basically owned the end of each round. If there were any NAU players available, he would’ve drafted them, too.
- Luke Lapinski (Fantasy Football Fix) – Agreed to play in too many fantasy football leagues this year, and somehow has Andre Ellington in all of them. Started the draft strong, but then he took back-to-back Cleveland Browns. Even the Cleveland Browns don’t draft back-to-back Cleveland Browns.
- Ron Wolfley (Doug and Wolf) – Playing in his first ever fantasy league, Wolf raged against the injustice of defenses being undervalued, questioned the validity of a game that praises running backs over quarterbacks and demanded that this league be a PPR league. He later selected Jeremy Maclin and used the phrase “ADP” repeatedly for some reason.
- Dan Bickley (Bickley and Marotta) – Began the draft by telling the story of the only other fantasy league he ever played in, back in 2000. That was the year Corey Dillon – on Bickley’s roster – set the NFL single-game rushing record…in a game Bickley still lost.
- Vince Marotta (Bickley and Marotta) – Narrated everyone’s picks, sang some Pearl Jam, impersonated Adam Sandler and proceeded to draft a compelling roster of injured players. And Sam Bradford.
- Paige Dimakos (Fantasy Football Fix) – The lone girl in the room (and a self-admitted Bears fan) she ran the draft board, stole most of Luke’s picks and put together a pretty strong roster – mainly by not selecting any Bears.
- Bertrand Berry (Off the Edge with B-Train) – B-Train loaded up on the Colts’ high-powered attack, scooping up Andrew Luck and T.Y. Hilton early. He also loaded up on Rams, which is basically the exact opposite of loading up on Colts.
- Paul Calvisi (Doug and Wolf) – Was unable to attend the event, so he sent a proxy with very specific instructions on who to draft. If he wins, it’s a pretty safe bet that neither Doug nor Wolf will ever hear the end of it.
- Jordan Byrd (Fantasy Football Fix) – Hates PPR leagues and loves Kirk Cousins. This is a PPR league and he didn’t draft Kirk Cousins. He also may have the best team. Something doesn’t add up.
- Doug Franz (Doug and Wolf) – Also couldn’t make it to the draft, so he personally wrote up a list that ranked pretty much every player in the NFL. How long was this list, you ask? Jerricho Cotchery was on it.