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Hey NBA, help the Suns out one time

The NBA Draft Lottery is on Tuesday. There’s a 96 percent chance that the Suns will pick right where they are supposed to: #13.

96% is a pretty big number so I’m not going to waste a whole lot of time or invest any kind of real emotions into hoping that the Suns fate lies somewhere in that 2.2% chance they have of getting the first, second or third pick.

But if I could please make one very emotional and completely irrational request to the NBA?

Will you throw us a frickin’ bone here?

Let’s say, for just a moment, that the most popular conspiracy theory in all of sports is legit. The NBA draft lottery is fixed. To be clear, I don’t belong to the lunatic fringe of sports fans who buy it; I’ve simply never believed in rigged ping pong balls and fixed envelopes, frozen, folded or otherwise. But some people, whose opinion I actually respect, do. So I’ll play along.

If ever there was a team that could use a little charity from the league, it’s the Phoenix Suns. Look at the other teams in the lottery. The T’Wolves, Cavs, Raptors, Wizards, Kings and Nets. In other words…the same old same old. It’s not a draft lottery for these executives it’s an annual reunion. The same guys wearing the same suits. The same logos stuffed in the same envelopes. They should name the whole event in honor of Elgin Baylor.

The Suns don’t belong with this riff raff. They’re The Phoenix Suns. Owners of the fourth best winning percentage in the history of the NBA, with no titles to show for it. They’re the closest thing the league has to the Boston Red Sox (pre-2004 of course). The former owner is a hall of famer. The current play-by-play broadcaster is too. Seven or eight years ago it was the Suns style of play that was like a can of Red Bull for the rest of the league. I’m not going to get in to the title that you cost us with the stupid suspensions against the Spurs. C’mon.

We’ve been good to you. Be good to us.

The Suns have fallen on hard times. If you want to argue they had it coming after they botched last offseason, I’d have a hard time debating you. But the fans of the team that wins a bunch of games, except when it matters the most, could use a life line. A spark. A glimmer of something good.

Winning the draft lottery wouldn’t fix everything around here. It’s not like LeBron going to the Cavs back in 2003. But there is that dynamic young forward who played his college ball about 90 miles down the road. There is that exciting young point guard out of Duke who sure would make the Steve Nash transition go a whole lot easier.

So if the fix is in, if David Stern and his minions are sitting around a hoity toity Manhattan hotel conference room diabolically hatching a plan to reinvigorate one particular franchise….

Throw us a line, will ya?