Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Stephen A Smith has decided to part ways with ESPN on May 1st.
Insiders say that Smith’s was the first letter of resignation to be typed entirely in capital letters

Richard Childress Racing will swap crews and crew chiefs between Kevin Harvick’s No. 29 team and Casey Mears’ No. 07 team.
Experts consider this the highest profile swap not involving Mike Kekich and Fritz Peterson

Michael Phelps is following up his record performance at the Beijing Olympics by changing some of the swimming technique that carried him to eight gold medals.
Phelps said the change in style wasn’t done on purpose, but occurred one day when he couldn’t remember how to swim after getting stoned at a party

Legendary football analyst John Madden is calling it quits. Madden, 73, has announced his retirement after a broadcasting career stretching back 30 years.
NBC programmers are hoping to make a smooth broadcasting transition by replacing Madden with Frank Caliendo and hoping nobody notices

President Obama marked Earth Day Wednesday by announcing a new initiative to lease federal waters for the purpose of generating electricity from wind and ocean currents.
If that doesn’t work, Obama hopes to harnass one of the world’s other largest producers of wind, Mark Reynolds’ bat

A hybrid will be the official pace car for the first time in NASCAR when Toyota lends a Camry for use in next month’s Coca-Cola 600.
The event will mark the first time in sports that both hybrids and inbreds will be together

Houston Rockets center Dikembe Mutombo said his lengthy career is finished after a knee injury knocked him out of the Rockets’ playoff game Tuesday night against the Trail Blazers.
Mutumbo is expected to retire from the NBA and return to his old job as the voice of Grover on Sesame Street

Following an 0-16 season the Detroit Lions revealed a new logo that they feel will better reflect the team and its players.

The logo was revealed to be a picture of the entire organization giving a middle finger to its fans

A Florida high school pitcher tossed his fourth consecutive no-hitter. Mitchell High senior Patrick Schuster did it Monday night on his home field at the suburban school northwest of Tampa.
4 straight no hitters? That’s nothing, I went through 4 years of high school without scoring

The NBA Rookie of the Year award was given out Wednesday and Phoenix Suns’ center Robin Lopez finished in 9th place, receiving a one second place vote.
When reached for comment, the writer from Florida who cast the vote for Lopez said “I’m as surprised as you are, I meant to vote for Al Gore”

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen reporting that the book that Hugo Chavez gave President Obama was titled “Tuesdays with Fidel”

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