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Sports Kabob – 7/29

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Gidget the Chihuahua, the bug-eyed, big-eared star of 1990s Taco Bell commercials has died at age 15
While authorities have not yet determined the cause of death, they have brought in Michael Vick for questioning.

On Tuesday, Brett Favre told the Minnesota Vikings that he will stay retired
Well he eventually told them that, after failing to get through the statement the first 3 times without laughing.

Plaxico Burress testified for nearly three hours Wednesday in front of a grand jury that is investigating weapons charges against him and told reporters outside that he was sorry for his actions
He also said that for now on, he will be like other receivers and only shoot his mouth off.

Michael Phelps has suffered his first individual loss in four years. Phelps was beaten in the final of the men’s 200-meter freestyle at the World Swim Championships in Rome on Tuesday
Phelps said he wasn’t that upset by the loss, saying he is used to many highs and lows, especially highs.

One night after he was soundly beaten by Germany’s Paul Biedermann, Phelps set a world record in the 200-meter butterfly with a time of 1 minute, 51.51 seconds — more than a half-second ahead of his previous mark, 1:52.03.
After winning, instead of saying he was going to Disneyland, Phelps said he was going to White Castle.

Illinois and Northwestern are talking about moving their annual Big Ten football game to Wrigley Field. Northwestern spokesman Mike Wolf says the schools have talked several times with the Chicago Cubs, most recently last weekend
The schools plan on playing the game in the fall, so Chicago fans will finally have the unique experience of seeing a local team win at Wrigley in October.

Lisa Mayfield is seeking damages against her stepson, suspended Sprint Cup driver Jeremy Mayfield, for public comments he made in regard to his civil case against NASCAR for testing positive for Meth
While this has upset NASCAR fans, it has delighted new Mayfield racing team owner Jerry Springer.

President Barack Obama recently said the WNBA inspires his two young daughters.
Unfortunately, it inspires them to change the channel.

A top New York Mets executive acknowledged Tuesday that general manager Omar Minaya made a mistake by singling out a reporter during a bizarre news conference, and put the GM on notice.
However, the executive praised Minaya by truly representing the Mets in the news conference: starting out strong and competent, then devolving into a chaotic disaster at the end.

Cleveland Cavalier center Shaquille O’Neal guest hosted WWE’s Monday Night Raw this week
When asked to compare the NBA to the WWE, Shaq said that while it’s fun participating in something that has crooked refs and predetermined outcomes, he also likes being in the WWE

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that this Friday, my Rabbi and I are having a big sale on some black market kidneys.