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Sports Kabob – 10/21

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The three-time WNBA champion Detroit Shock are moving to Tulsa, a city that has no professional sports teams
In other words, the city of Tulsa still has no professional sports teams

Kicker Jeff Reed said he’s unhappy at focusing unwanted attention on the organization by becoming involved in a run-in with Pittsburgh police on Sunday. Earlier this year, Reed paid $543 in fines and restitution after pleading guilty to disorderly conduct and criminal mischief for damaging a paper towel dispenser in a Pittsburgh-area convenience store bathroom
And perhaps the worst bit of attention happened last week, when Reed told news sources that his son had flown off in a homemade weather balloon

Coach Eric Mangini said 12 players, including Pro Bowl nose tackle Shaun Rogers and five other starters, are sick with flu like symptoms and stomach viruses
Mangini said he didn’t even realize that his players were getting sick during practice at first, since the smell of vomit blended in so unnoticeably with the natural aroma of Cleveland

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban says steroids could have a legal and useful place in sports — as long as they are administered under a doctor’s supervision to help athletes recover from injuries and there’s no risk of long-term health effects.
Or, if they help his team win

Tennessee Titans coach Jeff Fisher wore a Peyton Manning jersey Tuesday while appearing at a charity event for Rocketown at Lipscomb University in Nashville with former Colts coach Tony Dungy, among others
Fisher said he only wore the jersey because he was hoping some company would see him and accidentally give him an endorsement and commercial deal

Wrestling legend and reality TV star Hulk Hogan reveals in a new book that he would have committed suicide were it not for a surprise phone call, according to a story in the New York Daily News.
That phone call? From the Macho Man Randy Savage, challenging him to a steel cage match. The Hulkster knew he could not end it and let the Macho Man get away without one last Atomic Leg Drop

The trustee overseeing jailed financier Bernard Madoff’s assets has labeled the New York Mets winners in the epic fraud. He says the baseball team made nearly $48 million in the Ponzi scheme.
Even more amazing, the Mets made nearly $100 million during the last 3 years by swindling their fans into thinking they were a legitimate Major League Baseball team

For $25,000, the Nets are offering four courtside tickets for 10 games, parking, access to a private lounge at the Izod Center with free food and beverages and something more — a one-hour appearance by a Nets player of your choice at your home, office, school or party.
Or for $50,000, the Nets will actually let you play point guard for the team during a game

Raiders defensive end Richard Seymour said to print those 2009 playoff tickets right now, because his team is headed for the postseason. “You can mark it down,” Seymour told the 1530 Homer radio station. “The Raiders will be in the playoffs.”
And in a related story, Richard Seymour has a drinking problem

ESPN analyst Steve Phillips had a fling with a 22-year-old production assistant, who, after being dumped, taunted his wife with phone calls and a letter that bragged about her sexcapades with Phillips
Phillips said that he has already come up with a savvy public relations way to deal with this scandal. On Friday’s Baseball Tonight, Phillips will do a self deprecating monologue followed by an apology and a hilarious Top 10 list

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that Manny Ramirez is currently in the shower while this column is ending