Sports Kabob – 11/25

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The most dominant driver of this decade, Jimmy Johnson, won a record fourth consecutive championship Sunday night at Homestead-Miami Speedway, where he raced hard to finish fifth, even though he only needed to finish 25th
Then, to add some spark to a otherwise predetermined and boring NASCAR season finale, Johnson ended his victory lap by climbing out of his car and kissing Adam Lambert

Cleveland Browns quarterback Brady Quinn says Notre Dame would be making a mistake if it fires coach Charlie Weis.
Also agreeing with Quinn that firing Weiss would be a mistake? South Bend’s hoagie industry

At 0-14, the Nets are creeping closer to the NBA record of 17 consecutive losses to start a season, which is held by Miami and the Los Angeles Clippers
Insiders say this is the worst thing to ever happen to New Jersey, next to being New Jersey

The Philadelphia medical examiner’s office has determined that Chicago boxer Francisco Rodriguez died from a “full-blunt impact injury” and ruled his death an accident, the Philadelphia Inquirer reported.
Coincidentally, a “full-blunt impact injury” was why Ricky Williams missed two years in the NFL

Cleveland Cavaliers center Shaquille O’Neal is out for Wednesday’s game against Detroit with an injured shoulder, the sixth game in a row he will miss.
Experts say Shaq must have injured his shoulder from his years of throwing…ex-teammates and coaches under the bus

Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen was sporting a black eye behind the tinted visor he wore to practice Tuesday. Athletic director Jack Swarbrick said Clausen was the “victim of a sucker punch” in an incident Saturday night at a South Bend-area pub after the Fighting Irish lost to Connecticut in double overtime
Clausen said the altercation was overblown and overhyped, and received far too much attention, much like the Notre Dame football team

Mark McGwire was hired to be the St. Louis Cardinals’ hitting coach a month ago, and the former home run king’s initial media session has yet to be scheduled.
When asked how this makes him feel, McGwire was quoted as saying “Mark mad! Mark smash!”

Rachel Alexandra, the superstar filly who has been taking it easy on the Churchill Downs backstretch for the last seven weeks, has returned to the racetrack for the first time since arriving here Oct. 7 from Saratoga.
Alexandria’s trainers say that she would have returned to the track sooner, but she just couldn’t decide on what shoes to wear

Commissioner Roger Goodell sent a wide-ranging memo about concussions to NFL teams, saying the co-chairmen of the league’s committee on brain injuries have resigned and that he is examining potential rule changes “to reduce head impacts.”
When hearing of this, many NFL players were surprised, saying “well aint that a kick in the head”

Authorities say former New York Knicks point guard Dean Meminger was rescued from a fire that destroyed a row of New York City houses and left dozens homeless.
Of course, current Knicks players have still not been rescued from the tire fire that is the 2009 New York team

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that its fitting the Cowboys are playing on Thanksgiving. The owner’s a ham, the coach is a turkey, and the quarterback never shows up after November

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

Follow @theAdamGreen