Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Tiger Woods was injured early Friday when he lost control of his Cadillac SUV outside his Florida mansion. Woods was slipping in and out of consciousness when found by police and has since been charged with careless driving and fined $164 by Florida authorities.
The accident proved one thing to many: despite millions of dollars in endorsement money, even Tiger won’t drive a Buick

Woods issued a statement Wednesday apologizing for letting his family down because of his transgressions. The Web site posting came hours after US Weekly magazine put Woods on its cover, released Wednesday, alleging he had a two-plus-year affair with a Los Angeles cocktail waitress. It also comes a week after the National Enquirer reported that Woods had an affair with a New York VIP host
Apparently Woods is no longer going after Jack Nicklaus’s record, but is instead going for Wilt Chamberlain’s

Rumors have since surfaced that Tiger’s wife Elin may have physically harmed him do to infidelity.
Always PR savvy, Woods simply said that the couple had an argument on Thanksgiving about Tiger “stuffing someone else’s turkey”

In the last week, Tiger got in a one car accident, was found unconscious by the cops, got in a physical altercation with his wife, and admitted to an affair
Or as fellow PGA tour player John Daly calls it: “a normal week”

Ron Artest, the often-controversial Los Angeles Lakers forward, told a magazine interviewer he used to drink alcohol at halftime of NBA games
So apparently Artest wasn’t upset with that Detroit fan for throwing the beer, but for wasting it

Notre Dame athletic director Jack Swarbrick will be hitting the road soon to find a replacement for fired coach Charlie Weis.
Swarbrick said that while it won’t be too hard to find someone who can fill Charlie Weis’ shoes, it will be very difficult to find someone who can fill Charlie Weis’ pants

Disgruntled Oakland Raiders fans are making a high-profile plea for owner Al Davis to step down as the team’s general manager by buying a billboard saying “MR. DAVIS, DO THE RIGHT THING, PLEASE HIRE A GM.”
Unfortunately, Davis never saw the billboard, since it wasn’t hung over a Luby’s

Michael Weiner has taken over from Donald Fehr as head of the baseball players’ association.
Players say they are a bit worried by this development, because although he claims to be a tough negotiator, when it comes down to it, he is actually a Weiner

Mark Sanchez is working on his sliding technique with Yankees manager Joe Girardi, who guided New York to its 27th World Series title last month. The Jets are hoping that some of the Yankee magic will rub off on Sanchez
Unfortunately, the plan has already worked too well, as today Sanchez asked the Jets for a $100 million dollar extension

FIFA rejected the use of extra match officials at the 2010 World Cup on Wednesday, instead opening a disciplinary case against France’s Thierry Henry for a handball in the World Cup playoff against Ireland.
There hasn’t been this much interest in an athlete and a ball in France since Lance Armstrong

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that apparently both Kyle Williams and Meredith Baxter are fans of muffs

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

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