Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The Oakland Raiders hired Hue Jackson as offensive coordinator on Tuesday.
When asked why he made the hire, confused Raiders owner Al Davis said he always admired Hue Jackson for his great portrayal of Wolverine in the X Men movies

Andre Dawson said he was disappointed the Hall of Fame decided his plaque in Cooperstown, N.Y., will feature a Montreal Expos hat, but Dawson plans to acknowledge Chicago Cubs fans during his induction speech in July.
Dawson says he will acknowledge the Cubs fans by getting everyone excited for his HOF speech, only to literally choke and collapse on stage near during it

Phil Mickelson, in his first comments since Tiger Woods’ car accident and acknowledgement of marital infidelity, says golf “needs him to come back.”
Mickelson then added “I on the other hand, hope he never, ever comes back”

Brett Favre hinted he’ll decide about next season sooner rather than later, though with him that’s famously been subject to change.
Favre says he needs to toss around the idea of retirement for a while, although many think that if Favre tosses it around too much, the idea will be intercepted

The Baltimore Ravens have hired former New England Patriots defensive coordinator Dean Pees as their new linebackers coach.
The Ravens ask their fans not to judge the hire immediately, and instead to “give Pees a chance”

Greg Oden apologized to his fans and the Portland Trail Blazers organization on Tuesday evening, several hours after nude self-portraits of the injured center surfaced on the internet.
He also apologized for his brief appearance in the low budget porn movie “The Portland Tail-blazers”

President Obama thanked Kentucky coach John Calipari and his players Tuesday for helping to raise more than $1 million as part of the “Hoops for Haiti” telethon
Calipari responded by saying that it was no big deal, and that it’s the least the players could do considering how much they get paid

CBS said Tuesday it had received numerous e-mails — both critical and supportive — since a coalition of women’s groups began a protest campaign Monday against a Superbowl ad, which critics say will use Tebow and his mother to convey an anti-abortion message
CBS said they don’t mind Tebow’s anti-abortion message, except that the commercial is supposed to be an ad for Cheetos

Tulsa’s new WNBA team will retain the Shock name after moving from Detroit and bring along the franchise’s championship banners to hang from the rafters.
The team decided to go with the “Tulsa Shock” instead of the much more appropriate “Tulsa Who Gives a Crap”

NASCAR is relaxing some of its rules this season, and encouraging drivers to show more aggression and emotion, in large part to answer a growing fan sentiment that the sport had gone stale.
And in a further effort to connect with its core fans, drivers will also be encouraged to marry their cousins

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen congratulating Apple for what I assume is finally getting into the feminine hygiene business with the iPad

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

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