Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome
to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world
of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

12th seeded Cornell upset favored Wisconsin to advance the
Sweet 16.
Members of the Cornell basketball team were extremely
excited after the game, not just because of the win, but
because now some of them may actually get to kiss a
girl

Cornell now plays the #1 seeded Kentucky Wildcats in the
next round of the NCAA tournament.
If the Big Red wins, some would consider it the biggest
upset in tourney history. Or, as others would refer to it,
it would be a reverse Glory Road

Syracuse will be without Arinze Onuaku when the top-seeded
Orange play Butler in the West Regional semifinals of the
NCAA tournament on Thursday. Onuaku has not practiced
since injuring his right leg during a Big East tournament
quarterfinal game March 11 against Georgetown.
Even worse, because of Obama’s new health care plan,
Onauaku won’t be able to see a doctor for six
months

Northern Iowa and coach Ben Jacobson have agreed to a new
10-year deal that includes a substantial pay raise.
Many consider Northern Iowa over Kansas to be the
second biggest upset last week, behind only Obama’s upset
win over the Republicans

Arnold Palmer believes redemption for Tiger Woods starts
with being more open with the media. Palmer initially was
guarded. “My opinion, as I said . . . I was going to keep
to myself. But I suppose the best thing he could do would
be open up and just let you guys shoot at him.”
Woods responded “let them videotape me? That does sound
kinky”

In addition to the vast potential of this year’s draft
class, numerous NFL personnel evaluators are concerned
about the increased number of prospects who have a history
of marijuana use in their background, with players often
acknowledging a failed drug test for pot in college in
interviews with team executives.
Many NFL teams first became concerned during combine
workouts, when many athletes wandered off looking for food
halfway through their 40 yard dash

Detroit Lions coach Jim Schwartz said Wednesday at the NFL
meetings that the Lions are gathering more information
about Pacman Jones’ level of commitment and how he could
fit in Detroit’s system
When hearing that he might be signed by the Lions,
Pacman said “can’t I just be suspended again”

Red Sox second baseman Dustin Pedroia says he’s fine one
day after the 2008 AL MVP landed awkwardly on his left
wrist during Boston’s spring training game against the
Minnesota Twins.
Although Pedroia does admit that the wrist injury has
killed his sex life

Andy Reid says the Eagles are listening to offers
regarding the team’s quarterbacks.
Reid says he is also personally listening to offers
regarding McDonald’s quarterpounders

Former major league star Dwight Gooden was charged in New
Jersey with driving under the influence of drugs and
leaving the scene of an accident.
While this is a sad story, it is nice to see that after
all these years, Gooden still can perform like he did
during the prime of his career

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this
is Jarrett Carlen saying that I ran out of toilet paper
this week, but luckily I had my bracket lying around

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as
well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow
me on twitter @JarrettGC.

Follow @theAdamGreen