Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The International Cycling Union will examine so-called “mechanical doping” at a meeting next week with bike manufacturers. UCI president Pat McQuaid said Wednesday he did not believe rumors sweeping the sport that racers were cheating by getting extra power from battery-powered motors hidden in their bike frames.
Experts say this scandal could finally tarnish the otherwise spotless image of international cycling

Using any form of motor is of course illegal in professional competitive cycling
If the rumors are true, this could be the biggest scandal in cycling since international competitor Wile E Coyote was caught with a rocket strapped to his bicycle in the 1971 Tour de France

The wife of St. Louis Cardinals batting coach Mark McGwire has delivered triplets
This came as great news to McGwire, who was happy to know that after years of steroid abuse, he was still able to produce at least 3 working sperm

A Major League Baseball official says umpire Bill Hohn will be addressed “in a very stern way” after a confrontation with Houston pitcher Roy Oswalt led to the ejection of the Astros’ ace.
Hohn will be taken to the MLB headquarters, where he is expected to be glared at, yelled at, and have dirt kicked on him

Florida coach Urban Meyer is taking medication, feeling “fantastic” and hoping his chest pain is history. Speaking at the Southeastern Conference’s annual spring meetings Tuesday, Meyer said doctors have diagnosed the chest pain that bothered him the last three years as esophageal spasms
Coincidentally, chest and throat problems are what ended Linda Lovelace’s career

Lebron James has granted an exclusive interview with CNN’s Larry King
This will be King’s biggest sports interview since his famous one-on-one with Shoeless Joe Jackson

The New York Liberty will become the fourth WNBA team to feature corporate logos on their jerseys. The Liberty and Foxwoods Resort Casino announced a multiyear partnership Wednesday that will include a jersey sponsorship.
Players on the Liberty said they are ok with having the name Foxwoods on their jersey, but feel their motto of the “loosest slots in town” sends the wrong message

Sacramento Kings point guard Tyreke Evans has apologized after being cited on suspicion of reckless driving in California. In a Twitter message on Tuesday to his fans, family and the Kings, Evans says he is sorry for “bad decision making” and has learned his lesson. The air unit spotted the NBA’s Rookie of the Year driving a 2010 black Mercedes S550 at more than 100 mph on Interstate 80
While the Kings are happy that Evans tweeted an apology for getting the ticket, they wish he hadn’t done it while driving

Construction is near completion on the Penguins’ new arena, the Consol Energy Center. But like with any new arena or stadium, officials need to simultaneously flush all the toilets and urinals to make sure everything is working in the bathrooms. The Pittsburgh Penguins are calling the June 10 event the “Student Flush,” a spinoff of their popular ticketing program known as “Student Rush.”
While this is a silly story, it is also the first story in months to have the words “Pittsburgh” and “Bathroom” in it and not have to do with Ben Roethlisberger

In a recent interview, Tiger Woods said he will not be hiring a swing coach
Says Tiger, “trust me, nobody needs to teach me how to swing”

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen asking if it’s too soon to hit on Tipper Gore

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

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