Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Steven Strasburg made his much anticipated debut for the Washington Nationals, striking out 14 and getting the win over the Pirates.
It was the most time someone struck out in Washington since John Edwards repeatedly hit on Janet Napolitano at the White House Christmas party

The restaurant BGR: The Burger Joint in Washington DC is creating the “Strasburger” to recount the young pitcher’s climb. The burger is topped with a hot dog and smothered in aged Vermont cheddar cheese.
The Strasburger is expected to sell a lot better than the restaurant’s previous attempt to capitalize on a local #1 pick: The Kwame Salami

A video released from a Philadelphia Phillies game showed a baby drinking from a beer bottle.
Many feared something like this might happen after Miller released their new “nipple top bottles”

The NBA was again the only men’s professional sports league to receive a combined “A” for race and gender in the annual report released Wednesday by the University of Central Florida’s Institute for Diversity and Ethics in Sport.
And the sport the received the worst grade in the report? Professional Eskimo Hunting

Seahawks rookie wide receiver Golden Tate apologized Tuesday and said he was “very embarrassed” after police in suburban Seattle gave him a warning for trespassing into a gourmet doughnut shop at 3 a.m. last weekend.
Tate did go on to say that he doesn’t understand what the big deal is, as his coach at Notre Dame Charlie Weiss used to break into doughnut shops all the time

Olympic bobsled teammates and Vermont National Guard members John Napier and Chris Fogt are changing uniforms for the next few months. The U.S. Army has summoned them to war.
And once “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is repealed, the Army also plans on summoning several of the US Olympic ice skaters

There is evidence that Pete Rose may have used a corked bat during the season in which he broke the career hits record.
If this is true, baseball purists think this may hurt Rose’s otherwise spotless reputation

Chris Pronger, the Philadelphia Flyers’ star defenseman, is hardly celebrating his portrayal Tuesday in a Chicago Tribune poster. It shows Pronger wearing a skirt beside a bold headline that declares, “Chrissy Pronger. Looks like Tarzan, skates like Jane.”
In all fairness to the Tribune, the picture of Chris Pronger in a skirt did bare an uncanny resemblance to what the women of Philadelphia actually look like

Ferrari has accepted the youngest recruit to its drivers’ academy, an 11-year-old Canadian boy.
Of course, many fear for the boy’s safety, not because he’d be driving dangerous high speed cars, but because Ferrari’s academy is only a few miles away from the headquarters of the Catholic Church

The Harlem Globetrotters have offered Lebron James a contract to play for the team
A team spokesman says that playing for the Globetrotters has everything Lebron wants : the team is from New York, always wins, and unlike the NBA, at least admits their games are fixed

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that in a recent interview, Ralph Macchio said he had mixed feelings about the new Karate Kid movie. On one hand they are remaking one of his classic films. On the other hand, he did get to do his first interview in 20 years

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

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