Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Reggie Bush may be forced to return his Heisman trophy after an NCAA investigation found he accepted over $290,000 in illegal benefits.
Although in Bush’s defense, at USC the $290,000 was only considered to be the veterans minimum

The loss of the Heisman comes just a few months after Bush broke up with longtime girlfriend Kim Kardashian
The difference of course, is that only 75 men have ever had the Heisman

Clearly perturbed by Russia coach David Blatt’s comment that the Soviet Union was the rightful winner of the gold medal game at the 1972 Munich Olympics, coach Mike Krzyzewski launched his own counterattack Wednesday.
Unfortunately, Coach K’s counter attack consisted only of curling up in the fetal position and passing out

Trevor Hoffman added another milestone to his illustrious career, earning his 600th save by closing out the Brewers’ 4-2 victory over the St. Louis Cardinals.
Hoffman has now officially ended the nights of more baseball players than Alyssa Milano

Kentucky recruit Enes Kanter received more than $100,000 in cash and benefits while he played for a professional team in Turkey, the club’s general manager told The New York Times.
Experts say this is the most scandalous thing to happen at Kentucky until whatever John Calipari does next week

The Arizona Cardinals named Derek Anderson their starting QB for game one against the St Louis Rams.
When he received the news, Anderson threw a party. Unfortunately, the party was overthrown and intercepted by the Rams.

After being released by the Arizona Cardinals, Matt Leinart signed with the Houston Texans to be their third string quarterback.
On the bright side, if this football thing doesn’t work out for Leinart, at least he can always fall back on those ballroom dancing classes he took in college

At the basketball World Championships, the USA defeated Iran, Tunisia, and Angola in successive games.
That’s Iran, Tunisia, and Angola, or as they are known in the Arab world – The Axis of B-Ball

In a post reported by TMZ, Ron Artest was pulled over Monday in an Eagle Roadster — an open-wheel Indy car — because the registration on the car expired
Artest said the registration was expired because there is no DMV in Crazytown

In the first game in the post Tim Tebow era at University of Florida, the Gators won an unimpressive game against lowly Miami of Ohio, committing 3 turnovers and only gaining 113 yards in the air.
In fact, fans were so outraged by the Gators play that they are planning on burning the team’s playbook at a church in Gainesville this week

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying Happy New Year to my Jewish readers. May your year be filled with more happiness and less Mel Gibson

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

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