Dallas restaurant chain offers Dwight Howard free chicken fingers for life

Jun 30, 2013, 10:03 PM | Updated: Jul 1, 2013, 6:16 am
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When the NBA Free Agency period officially gets underway Sunday night at 9:00 p.m. MST, center Dwight Howard will be the center of attention, with teams like the Dallas Mavericks, Golden State Warriors, Houston Rockets and Los Angeles Lakers vying for his long-term services.

While the seven-time All-Star will more than likely be offered a max contract in the coming days or weeks, one local establishment in Dallas is doing everything it can to strengthen Mark Cuban and Co.’s sales pitch.

Taking a page out of the Lakers’ playbook, Raising Cane’s, which has 20 locations in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, has recently put up billboards trying to lure Howard to sign with Mavericks.

If he does, the fast food chain promised to give the 27-year-old free chicken fingers for life.

The story got big enough in Big D, that local sports reporter
Brad Townsend of the Dallas-Morning News broke down the potential offer.

Howard is 27. The average American male life expectancy is 76. That would be 49 years – 2,548 weeks – of free grub for Howard.

Figure the least he would order in one sitting would be the Caniac 6-finger combo, which is $10.80 including tax. Surely, though, an athlete of Howard’s size would have no problem downing the 25-piece Tailgate box, which goes for $29.75 including tax.

If Howard ate one Caniac a week for 49 years, it would cost Cane’s a reasonable $27,518.40. One Tailgate order per week would extrapolate to $75,803.

But if Howard really took advantage and hit the drive-through every day, he’d amass $192,628 worth of Caniacs, $530,621 worth of Tailgates.

If the latter occurred, Cane’s would be lending the Mavericks far more than a hand in landing Howard – 445,900 chicken fingers, actually.

Not word yet on whether the chicken fingers would count against the Mavericks’ cap space.

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Dallas restaurant chain offers Dwight Howard free chicken fingers for life