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A question for Jordan Clarkson, who thinks large humans owned dinosaurs

Mar 19, 2018, 2:14 PM | Updated: 9:09 pm
(Photo: AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh. Dinosaur: Dellex (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons. Art...
(Photo: AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh. Dinosaur: Dellex (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons. Art by ArizonaSports).
(Photo: AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh. Dinosaur: Dellex (Own work)

Cavaliers point guard Jordan Clarkson has found a way to effectively replace departed All-Star guard Kyrie Irving.

Clarkson believes dinosaurs used to be pets of 18-foot tall people.

While on the podcast of former Cavaliers players Richard Jefferson and Channing Frye, Clarkson explained his theory.

Clarkson: “Y’all know how we got dogs and stuff right? So, I think it was bigger people in the world before us, and the dinosaurs was they pets.”

DJ Montage: How big were these people?

Clarkson: “Oh, you look at a dinosaur. They got to be three times bigger than them.”

There’s one question that needs answering.

Which dinosaur would make the best pet?

Let’s do a simple pros and cons list for five of the most well-known types of dinosaurs. In it, we will consider attributes such as size, diet and general appearance.

Tyrannosaurus Rex

Pros: Around 13-foot tall, according to LiveScience, which would be a good size pet for a large human. Probably the coolest of all dinosaurs. Very intimidating. The name means “Tyrant Lizard King” in Greek.

Cons: For reference, lions can grow to about four feet tall, which is a similar human-to-animal ratio as a T-Rex. However, the dinosaur is much longer, up to 40 feet long. Very few people can tame lions as is. Plus, does it really sound like a good idea to own an animal called “Tyrant Lizard King?”

Brachiosaurus

Pros: Herbivores, thought to live to 100 years old, according to Thoughtco. Very few things in life are sadder than losing a pet; imagine growing old with your lovable giant. It can help you grab things off large shelves. Plus, they may have been semi-aquatic, which means you could go for a dip with them.

Cons: 30 feet tall, which is large, even by large human standards. You would need a lot of trees to feed it. You probably couldn’t ride it if you’re 20 feet tall.

Triceratops

Pros: Herbivore. Thoughtco.com called them “gentle.” The three horns could shield you from mean 20-foot giants with their mean dinosaur pets. It sounds like a friendly rhinoceros. Plus, you could name it Michael Cera.

Cons: Everyone would probably name it Michael Cera.

Pterodactyl

I discovered something that destroyed a large section of my childhood: according to Live Science, there is no such thing as a pterodactyl. That’s just a common name for Pterodactylus and Pteranodon.

Pros: They have wings and fingers, which is the ideal combination. Also, there aren’t any phones or email, so these could deliver mail.

Cons: If you’re three times the size of a modern human, you can’t actually fly on one. I’d venture to recommend a Quetzalcoatlus instead, which had a 35-40 foot wingspan, which ThoughtCo. said is the size of a small airplane (it was also an Aztec god). It could be fun for kids to fly on. However, if they can’t support that weight, these creatures would basically just be carrier pigeons (aka Hermes, one of the lamest Greek gods).

Velociraptor

Pros: Imagine an 18-foot-tall Chris Pratt running around with some Velociraptors.

Cons: They’re actually just the size of turkeys, which are pretty freaky birds. Would velociraptors be the main course at Thanksgiving for our giant human species?

Comment with your opinion. If any dinosaur fanatics or paleontologists are reading this, feel free to add more options below as well.

Penguin Air

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A question for Jordan Clarkson, who thinks large humans owned dinosaurs