Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The Arizona Cardinals named Derek Anderson starting quarterback for Sunday’s game vs. the Vikings.
So to review: On Wednesday the Cardinals chose between 2 lousy candidates for a job neither is qualified for nor will succeed at, 1 day after most of the rest of the country did the same.

The Vikings released Randy Moss after only 4 games with the team.
Upon his departure several players wished Moss good luck for the rest of the season. QB Brett Favre even sent Moss a picture text of him giving a thumb’s up. At least I think that was his thumb.

Vikings coach Brad Childress now says he regrets trading for Moss and that giving up a 3rd round pick for him was a poor decision.
Childress went on to say it was also a poor decision to move next to an elementary school looking the way he looks.

A contributing factor to Moss’s release may have been his criticism of a post game meal. Moss apparently loudly insulted the caterer and his food after a game.
You’d think anything would taste good to Moss after having his foot in his mouth for so many years.

Redskins coach Mike Shanahan benched Donavan McNabb at the end of Sunday’s game, saying that McNabb did not have the proper conditioning to run the 2 minute drill. The team then worked out JaMarcus Russell on Monday.
So while Shanahan may have lost his sense of how to coach, at least he did not lose his sense of irony.

The San Francisco Giants won the World Series after Tim Lincecum defeated the Rangers for the second time in 5 games.
So Lincecum went 2-0 over the last week, 2-1 if you count Caliornia’s Prop 19 getting voted down.

California Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman spent over 140 million dollars but lost anyway.
She was then immediately hired to be GM of the NY Mets

Officials at Madison Square Garden wouldn’t say Wednesday when they might reopen the arena after an asbestos scare.
Experts say it was the biggest disaster to happen in the Garden since the Isaiah Thomas era.

The Pirates are down to two candidates for their managerial job, Rangers hitting coach Clint Hurdle and organizational man Jeff Banister.
Insiders say Hurdle is considered the favorite since he just got an endorsement from Sarah Palin.

Undefeated 6 year old filly Zenyatta is the heavy favorite to win this Saturday’s Breeder Cup’s Classic.
The last time a female had this much success at 6 years old she was forced to go to rehab after making E.T.

That’s all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter, and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that Charlie Villanueva does not look like a cancer patient, but he does look like a James Bond villain.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

Related

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Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The Cardinals defeated the Packers 51-45, putting up 531 yards on what was the #2 ranked defense in the NFL
Many Green Bay insiders blame this poor performance on the team recently hiring Janet Napolitano to be in charge of its defense

Sarah Palin signed a deal to join Fox News as a regular contributor, and many feel she fits in due to her right wing beliefs
Cardinals kicker Neil Rackers on the other hand, announced he will be joining MSNBC because of his recent propensity of going to the left

Tom Brady committed four turnovers and was under constant pressure from the Ravens defense in a 33-14 Patriots loss
Many analysts were surprised by this performance, since Brady is usually excellent at scoring without protection

In a written statement and interview with Bob Costas, Mark McGwire admitted to using steroids off and on during his career
Then, in equally shocking news, Adam Lambert held a press conference to announce he was gay

As expected, the Kansas City Chiefs on Wednesday officially hired Romeo Crennel to be their new defensive coordinator, days after they hired Charlie Weiss to be their offensive coordinator
While most experts don’t expect the Chiefs to have the best coaching staff next year, all agree that they will have the chubbiest

Since his contract is now up with them, General Motors announced that Tiger doesn’t get to drive free Cadillacs anymore
However, he has signed a new contract with GM so that he can still use their back seats

Clippers forward Blake Griffin will have surgery on his broken left kneecap, keeping the No. 1 draft pick out for at least four more months
Experts say Griffin is the most unlucky and upset person in all of Los Angeles, other than Conan O’Brien

The perennially frugal Florida Marlins have reached an agreement with the players’ union to increase spending in the wake of complaints the team payroll has been so small as to violate baseball’s revenue sharing provisions.
However, since they are in south Florida, the Marlins will still be allowed to offer early bird specials at their concession stands

Simon Cowell announced that he will be leaving American Idol following this season
Cowell said he was leaving Idol because with USC’s hiring of Lane Kiffin, he’s no longer be the most arrogant jerk in Los Angeles

The Seattle Seahawks hired former USC coach Pete Carroll earlier this week, shortly after interviewing the Vikings’ Leslie Frazier.
While many feel that the Frazier interview was a farce and was not in the spirit of the Rooney rule, Senate majority leader Harry Reid thought it was fine

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen fearing that Jay Leno is coming to take my job.
For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

Related

Diamondbacks injury return tracker: Progress reports on Justin Martinez, Corbin BurnesEx-Cardinals GM Steve Keim obtains legal counsel over fraud schemeOssenfort: Cardinals not looking to trade Josh Sweat as he works his way off PUP listDiamondbacks sign veteran pitcher Zack Littell. What will his role be?Win tickets to UMB Bank Fiesta Sports Foundation Kickoff ExperienceTorey Lovullo says Brandon Pfaadt attacking hitters is allowing him to thrive