Sports Kabob – 9/16
Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.
Here are the top stories:
The WNBA’s Atlanta Dream is set to play their first home playoff game Friday night against Detroit at Philips Arena. But “Sesame Street Live” already had booked shows for next weekend at the downtown arena, so the Dream will play at Gwinnett Arena, about 25 miles northeast of Atlanta.
When asked how this will affect attendance, a rep has announced that all the team’s fans have been notified, and that they will both be at the new arena
The Dream tried everything they could to stay in the arena despite the conflict with Sesame Street Live
In fact, they argued with promoters for several hours, claiming that few Sesame Street fans would even notice the game going on since so many of the WNBA’s players look like Big Bird
During the US Open, Serena Williams angrily confronted the lineswoman who made a foul call, dropping the f-word liberally and, getting in her face and waving her racket and later the ball menacingly, saying, “I swear to God I’m [expletive] going to take this [expletive] ball and shove it down your [expletive] throat, you hear that? I swear to God.”
Fans called Serena a disappointment, players called Serena a crybaby, and John McEnroe called Serena his new favorite player
The Philadelphia Eagles elevated Michael Vick to the team’s 53-man roster Tuesday, a move that allows the quarterback to practice with the team.
In fact, Vick will join the team just as soon as he gets a rabies shot and flea bath
The Denver Broncos completed the longest game-winning play from scrimmage in the final minute of the fourth quarter in NFL history to defeat the Bengals Sunday
Experts say this is the worst thing to ever happen to Cincinnati fans, next to having to actually live in Cincinnati
In his Hall of Fame induction speech, Michael Jordan called out several people including Jeff Van Gundy and Byron Russell
While the media wouldn’t say that Jordan was wrong for doing this, President Obama has already agreed to hold a beer summit for the three
Rutgers women’s basketball coach Vivian Stringer was also inducted into the basketball hall of fame last weekend
While many agree Stringer was deserving, some feel her special moment was somewhat ruined by letting Don Imus give her induction speech
Cowboys spokesman Brett Daniels says the team’s standing-room “Party Pass” tickets, at $29 apiece, have sold out. The Cowboys will say only that the standing-room total exceeds 20,000 fans.Combined with regular ticket sales in the 80,000-seat stadium, Dallas could challenge the NFL attendance record of 103,467 when they take on the New York Giants
While the Cowboys would set an attendance record with 103,467, they would also likely shatter the record for most amount of chewing tobacco spat in one location
Tommy Lasorda will soon take his place in the Smithsonian Institution. The Hall of Fame manager will have his portrait hung in the museum’s National Portrait Gallery. The unveiling is set for Sept. 22, Lasorda’s 82nd birthday.
Lasorda’s portrait will be part of the Smithonian’s new exhibit titled “Great Men in Slim Fast History”
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco says he’ll do a celebratory “Lambeau Leap” if he scores in Sunday’s game at Lambeau Field.
And in future news, Chad Ochocinco has been beaten to death
For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.
That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that I’m just glad I was able to get through this entire column without Kanye West interrupting me
