Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Cowboys receiver Roy Williams invited the entire defense out to dinner with the entire offense, and rookie Dez Bryant was forced to pick up a tab of nearly $55,000.
Also, Jets rookie Kyle Wilson was forced to pick up a dinner bill of nearly $100,000 after having a 1 on 1 meal with Rex Ryan

The New York Yankees clinched another birth in the playoffs Tuesday, thanks in part to a red hot September by Alex Rodriguez.
Teammates say the only thing wrong with A-Rod putting the team on his back for a month is having to avoid all the zits and pimples there

Donovan McNabb will play at Lincoln Financial Field on Sunday as the enemy for the first time in his career. Still, he said Tuesday that he expects a mostly warm reception from Philadelphia Eagles fans.
McNabb then went on to say that he also believes in the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus

Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Kassim Osgood leapt out a second-floor window to escape a gun-wielding man who attacked him and a 19-year-old woman, according to police.
Unfortunately for Jacksonville fans, this was the most athletic move made by a Jaguars player all year

When the Texas Rangers clinched the AL West, recovering addict Josh Hamilton did not celebrate with the team due to the presence of champagne and beer.
While this is admirable, some question Hamilton’s decision to instead celebrate with a tall, cool glass of Crystal Meth

Suns head coach Alvin Gentry says “We got to play like we’re ‘blue collar desperate’ and that’s a situation where you lace ’em up and you stick your nose in there and you just compete’.”
Gentry then showed he is serious about the blue collar thing by naming Larry the Cable Guy as bench coach

Cardinals QB Derek Anderson has a QB rating of 59.2 during the first three quarters of games this year, but a rating of 110.2 in the fourth quarter.
Unfortunately, even a good and exciting ending can’t hide the fact that the first ¾ of something was terrible. Just watch a recent M Night Shyamalan movie

The University of California has cut its baseball program, as well as several other sports programs, in an effort to save money.
Apparently the school was anxious to gain extra funds after the state of California legalized marijuana

The proposed deal that would have brought Carmelo Anthony to the Nets is “dead,” a league source told SI.com.
The deal is so dead, in fact, that it’s floating face down in New Jersey river right now

An assistant women’s basketball coach at North Carolina-Wilmington faces undisclosed disciplinary action after she punished a player by making her roll the length of the court for 30 minutes.
In all fairness, that is what most women think a pick and roll actually is

That’s all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter, and remember this is Jarrett Carlen congratulating the Reds on making the playoffs for the first time in 15 years. The team was happier than Pastor Eddie Long at a Boy Scout camp

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

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