Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome
to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world
of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Cardinals QB Derek Anderson threw a tantrum after the
team’s loss on Monday.
Unfortunately, the tantrum missed its target by 5
yards.

Anderson has now apologized for his postgame tirade on a
reporter who asked him why he was laughing during the
Cardinals loss.
However, fans are still waiting for him to apologize
for his play this season.

Former President Bill Clinton stressed the diversity of
the United States in its bid to host the 2022 World Cup in
a presentation to FIFA.
Yes, the United States has all types of ethnicities and
races that don’t give a crap about soccer.

The Yankees and Derek Jeter spent nearly five hours in one
another’s company Tuesday night in Tampa, and no voices
were raised, no threats made, and no one was injured. In
fact, not even feelings were hurt.
“Actually come to think of it, we forgot to talk about
the contract at all! Woops!” says Yankees reps.

According to the White House, Barack Obama received
stitches after being elbowed in a pick up game of
basketball.
Of course, we’ll have to wait until WikiLeaks publishes
the real story to learn the truth of what happened.

The LPGA Tour has voted to remove the “female at birth”
requirement from its constitution, responding to a lawsuit
filed by a 57-year-old California woman who had her sex
changed five years ago.
Also, the LPGA will continue to allow natural born
females who look like men play on tour.

Miami is still pursuing Jon Gruden for the Hurricanes’
head-coaching job, which was vacated when Randy Shannon
was fired Saturday.
Gruden will be holding a one hour ESPN special where he
will announce whether or not he’s taking his talents to
South Beach.

Michael Jordan is finally being inducted into the North
Carolina Sports Hall of Fame.
However, for the good of everyone involved, there will
be no speech.

Buffalo Bills wide receiver Steve Johnson dropped a game
winning touchdown in overtime on Sunday and then blamed
God on Twitter.
Fortunately for Johnson, God never saw the Tweet, as
the only NFL player he follows Twitter is Kurt Warner.

Actor and Celtics fan Donnie Wahlberg will narrate a
documentary-style series about the NBA team.
Unfortunately, the series’ score will also be composed
by Wahlberg, as well as the other four members of New Kids
on the Block.

That’s all for this week, leave comments, follow me on
Twitter and remember this is Jarrett Carlen wishing a
Happy Hannukah to Boise State kicker Kyle Brotzman. Hope
you don’t choke while eating a latka.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as
well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow
me on twitter
@JarrettGC.

Follow @theAdamGreen