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Sports Kabob 9/2

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The Philadelphia Eagles expect NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell to issue a ruling on Michael Vick’s possible full re-instatement before Saturday’s mandatory league-wide cutdown to the 53-man roster
Until then, Goodell told Vick to just sit and stay. Staaaay.

Ricky Williams, who signed a one-year contract extension that will keep him with the Miami Dolphins through 2010, told The Miami Herald that he intends to retire after the contract expires
Williams said that he feels by then he will no longer have the hunger to play football, which is strange because for some reason he always has a hunger for everything else.

Ricky Rubio wants to keep playing basketball in Spain, saying a move to the Minnesota Timberwolves would be too risky and complicate his life
Experts agree that Rubio’s fears are warranted, for when most people think of the state of Minnesota, they think of risky and complicated.

Curt Schilling, the former major league pitcher who won the allegiance of Bostonians by leading the Red Sox to the 2004 World Series, said Wednesday that he has “some interest” in running for the seat held for nearly 50 years by Democratic Sen. Edward M. Kennedy
Schilling went on to say that although he is interested, he doesn’t feel he could adequately fill the seat left by Kennedy. Unless of course he gained 100 pounds.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Brett Favre has announced he will not play in the preseason finale on Friday night against Dallas.
Favre then announced that he will play in the game, followed by him announcing that he will not play, immediately proceeded by him announcing that he may or may not play and that the decision will come shortly.

The Motor City Bowl was rechristened Wednesday as the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl, with the Detroit-based pizza chain stepping up to sponsor the college football bowl game as two of the region’s beleaguered automakers step down
Coincidentally, many of Detroit’s former auto executives now work at Little Caesars.

The Los Angeles Dodgers were busy this week, acquiring Ronnie Belliard, Jim Thome and John Garland via trade shortly before the deadline
After initial speculation regarding these trade rumors, reporters realized that in LA right now, where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

Tom Cruise will narrate an upcoming documentary about the history of Hendrick Motorsports
Cruise will then go onto the Today Show to accost Matt Lauer for not knowing the history of Hendrick Motorsports as well as he does.

The Jamie Farr Classic will return next year, ending months of speculation about whether it would join other LPGA tournaments that have folded in the last year, organizers announced Wednesday
And as is custom in the Jamie Farr Classic, the event will consist of male golfers dressed as women golfers.

Muhammad Ali made a sentimental journey Tuesday to discover his Irish roots, and met distant relatives during celebrations at the local town hall and a nearby castle
Unfortunately, when Ali tried to drink a can of Guinness, it exploded from being too shaken up.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen bemoaning the fact that the vampire craze wasn’t popular when I was younger. Suddenly it’s “cool” to be a pale, socially awkward teen with bad teeth that sleeps all day.