Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

The woman accused of trying to extort Louisville men’s basketball coach Rick Pitino approached him in a restaurant six years ago, and the two had sex at a table the coach told police.
While Pitino regrets his actions, he does admit that it was the best happy hour he had ever attended

Pitino, who is married with five children, later gave the woman $3,000 to pay for a health insurance to cover an abortion
While his actions did not help his credibility as a coach and teacher of young men, it did help his credibility should he ever want to run for office as a US Governor

Following surgery, New Washington Wizards coach Flip Saunders says Gilbert Arenas has his quickness back.
In fact, Saunders claims Arenas is already blogging and tweeting at pre-injury speed

Mexico defeated the USA 2-1 in Mexico City, surprising many experts who picked the US team to win.
Experts say the victory was the best revenge in years on Americans in Mexico not involving Montezuma

A disappointed Jamie Moyer says he feels misled by Philadelphia Phillies management over his demotion to the bullpen. The veteren pitcher said Tuesday he feels “a little disheartened.”
Moyer went on to say that he would have been even more depressed if not for the support of friends, wife, and great-grandchildren

Detroit Lions receiver Bryant Johnson is recovering well in his comeback from a golf cart accident. Johnson has said he was injured in July when he was driving a golf cart that got out of control and fell on him near his offseason home in Georgia.
Lions management is still upset at Johnson, telling him there will be plenty of time to play golf in January while playoffs are going on

There’s less of Ralph Friedgen on the Maryland sideline these days, thanks to a diet that has enabled the Terrapins head football coach to drop a whopping 105 pounds.
Oddly enough, the diet only included having Friedgen use a toothpick to clean his teeth out after eating

Boston Red Sox first baseman Kevin Youkilis and Detroit Tigers pitcher Rick Porcello were suspended for five games each Wednesday and fined by Major League Baseball for their roles in a benches-clearing confrontation.
After throwing at, then throwing down Youkilis, Porcello is now the most infamous and violent tiger since the one who bit Roy’s head

A new report says the by 2011, there may be 7 billion people in the world.
Many of whom will be related to Travis Henry

Australian rookie Trent Oeltjen has 3 home runs in only 5 games with the Arizona Diamondbacks and is quickly becoming a fan favorite.
Oeltjen’s successful debut has caused excitement in Australia not seen since Paul Hogan announced he’d be making Crocodile Dundee 3

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen announcing that I am not the father of any of Michael Jackson’s kids

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