Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Miami Dolphins general manager Jeff Ireland has apologized to former Oklahoma State receiver Dez Bryant for asking whether his mother was ever a prostitute.
Ireland said he shouldn’t have asked the question, but pointed out that Bryant’s godfather is Eliot Spitzer

Dez Bryant wound up being drafted in the first round by Dallas Cowboys
Bryant said he is glad to go to Dallas, where the only whore is Jerry Jones

The Coyotes lost to the Detroit Red Wings 6-1 in game 7 of their first round series
Many feel the game would have been closer had several Coyotes not be deported before the game for being unable to prove they were U.S. citizens

Former MLB pitcher Mike Bacsik is quickly backtracking from an offensive tweet he wrote during Sunday night’s Mavericks-Spurs game. When Dallas forward Eduardo Najera was ejected for a flagrant foul on Spurs guard Manu Ginobili in the fourth quarter, Bacsik, a Mavericks fan, was incensed: “Congrats to all the dirty Mexicans in San Antonio,” he tweeted.
San Antonio fans called Bacsik “insulting”, Dallas fans called him “racist”, and Governor Jan Brewer called him “an American hero”

People are using the Diamondbacks as a way to voice their opposition to Arizona’s new immigration law, organizing protests around their road games.
And, while angry activists will be outside the stadium protesting the Arizona bill, angry Diamondback players will be inside the stadium protesting Arizona’s bullpen

The Oakland Raiders are preparing to release quarterback JaMarcus Russell but have to await the final word from owner Al Davis before they can do so, according to sources.
The Raiders may be waiting a while to hear from Davis, however, as they can’t schedule a séance or find a Medium for several days

“Lookin At Lucky” was far from lucky at the Kentucky Derby post position draw Wednesday at Churchill Downs, drawing the inside post, considered a highly disadvantageous starting position against a full field of 20 horses. He was installed as the 3-1 favorite.
Oddsmakers have also already declared that the long shot underdog will be the horse “Soon-To-Be-Glue”

Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox has an idea of how much St. Louis slugger Albert Pujols should get in his next contract: $50 million a year.
Of course, anything said by the elderly Cox should be taken with a grain of salt, since he also believes that the Internet is a fad and that clubhouse attendants are stealing his medication

Colorado coach Tad Boyle has lost his first player from the roster he inherited when he took over the Buffaloes’ program from Jeff Bzdelik, as Boyle announced Monday that freshman guard Keegan Hornbuckle has decided to transfer.
While he will no longer play for Colorado, Hornbuckle will continue to play for the Hilarious Name All Stars

75-year-old Brewers announcer Bob Uecker will have his aortic valve replaced Friday morning, and will be away from the team for up to three months while recovering.
When asked how his chest feels, Uecker says it hurts a lot inside, and juuuuuuust a bit outside

That’s all for this week, leave comments and remember this is Jarrett Carlen, wondering if it’s too early to hit on Sandra Bullock

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.

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