Off the Ice: Handing out the Howlers

Apr 3, 2012, 2:43 PM | Updated: 2:43 pm

Arizona Sports

The Phoenix Coyotes season is coming to a close and the
team has already given out their
awards.

There weren’t a lot of surprises — Mike Smith was the
MVP, Shane Doan was the hardest working player as voted by
fans, Ray Whitney got the most points and Jason LaBarbera
was the best guy in the community.

However, I wasn’t consulted when these so-called “awards”
were being decided and I had my version all set to go.
Since I put the work in anyway — about 20 minutes during
a drive home from a recent vacation — I’m handing out my
own awards for the Coyotes: the Howlers.

I couldn’t find an interested TV network (damn recession)
so these were presented in the safety of my own home
office with my dog and girlfriend as a semi-captive
audience. Since you weren’t there to see it, I included
the full list in slideshow form.

Also, I know I’m not very good at Photoshop. Please spare
me your comments telling me why you’re better at it than
me.

Follow @carternacke

Biggest Chump: Kyle Turris
I couldn't leave this out. After holding out
for a ridiculously high contract that he
didn't deserve, the highly-touted Turris was
shipped off to Ottawa for David Rundblad and
a pick. After all the fuss, the whiner got
his way. He'll be in the playoffs this year,
but everyday he's not pulling on a Coyotes
sweater is a good day.

Biggest Joke: Coyotes Sale Progress
How many times must we all listen to the same broken record? "Nothing to report," seems to be the phrase of the year for NHL number two Bill Daly when it comes to rumors of the Coyotes sale. Maybe he and Jay-Z should release that as a hit single.
I've got 99 rumors but a sale ain't one.

Biggest Snub: Radim Vrbata
When Vrby has the puck this season, it's scary, plain and simple -- especially when you're an opposing goaltender. His armory of moves and quick hands let Vrby place the puck almost anywhere. He should have been included in the All-Star Game, but we all know how that turned out.
Had to borrow Yandle's All-Star photo for this one. Sorry, buddy.

Coolest Moment: Shane Doan's Hat Trick
How could I not mention this? This moment was so cool that I didn't even need to Photoshop it. In case you missed it, I went in-depth about why this was one of the top moments in sports history.

Most Promising: Keith Yandle
Keith Yandle was better this year than he was last year. Now, before you freak out and tell me all about his defensive turnovers, hear me out. Yandle has shown better leadership this year and made better defensive plays -- which are very important when you play defense. The kid has plenty of potential and will only get smarter as the years go on. Also, his Iron Man streak is still on-going and any player who is always on the ice as a constant leader is a great thing.

Most Clutch Player: Raffi Torres
I never though I would write this at the beginning of the season, but Torres has gotten this team out of numerous binds, not with hits, but with late or much-needed goals in any given period. Yes, his Halloween costume was controversial, but I've already defended that.

Best Move: Mikkel Boedker
I know, this award should likely go to Vrby, but how can you argue with the crazy legs that Boeds pulls during shootouts? I'm honestly impressed he can stay standing.

Best Line: Ray Whitney, Radim Vrbata and Martin Hanzal
Let's face it: you can't argue with Wizard's tally this season. He's hit the 1000 career-point mark now and isn't slowing down, despite being 39-years-old. Add in Radim Vrbata with his career-high goal mark and big center man Martin Hanzal blocking the net, and you have a top trio. Together, they've got enough magic to take out Lord Voldemort.

Most Improved Player: Oliver Ekman-Larsson
The 20-year-old Swede has impressed all year. Last season, he was tossed around like a rag doll and was terrified of physical contact. This year, he's playing the body in (on occasion) and has netted 13 goals as a defenseman. Being one away from the franchise record at 20 isn't too shabby. His play has gone back to the future the fans were all promised.

MVP: Mike Smith
Take a bow, Mr. Smith. Your performance over this season as earned you the prestigious Howler for "Played Like A Bear" MVP. In all honesty, this team wouldn't be where they are this season without you between the pipes.

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