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Bruce Arians used to drink paint because he was allergic to milk

Arizona Cardinals head coach Bruce Arians takes the field prior to an NFL football game against the Cincinnati Bengals, Sunday, Nov. 22, 2015, in Glendale, Ariz. (AP Photo/Rick Scuteri)

Arizona Cardinals coach Bruce Arians has some stories to tell.

Boy, does he.

In a media tour to promote his new book, “The Quarterback Whisperer: How to Build an Elite NFL Quarterback,” Arians joined SiriusXM NFL radio’s Blitz show and said writing the stories with co-writer Lars Anderson came easily to him.

“You know me: it was kind of easy when I found out you can drink cocktails and tell stories,” Arians told hosts Alex Marvez and Geoff Schwartz.

“Oh, gosh, when you start talking about drinking paint when I was a kid and getting my stomach pumped twice. No, there were so many (stories); there were so many I left out.”

Wait. What?

Yes, Arians did drink paint. The reason he did so is, well, pretty logical.

From the book:

When I was younger I wasn’t allowed to drink milk, because I was allergic to it. Was that going to stop me from drinking something that was surely going to make my bones stronger? Hell no. So I drank paint. Sure, I had to get my stomach pumped twice, but I had to try to put something down my throat that looked like milk and might make me harder to tackle when playing in our neighborhood football games.

Just so you know how the rest of the book goes, the next paragraph explains that Arians would rip off beer bottle caps with his teeth to impress girls at high school parties.

Anyhow, 98.7 FM, Arizona’s Sports Station does not suggest drinking paint.

Nonetheless, it worked for Arians, and It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s Charlie Kelly would be proud.