1) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS (1): Houston’s 20 points are the most given up by Seattle raising the average points against to only 11.8…unbelievable to be this good and only 24th in third down conversions.
2) DENVER BRONCOS (2): As you could guess, Manning is first in the third down conversion category with 55 percent and he’s completing 75 percent of his passes…52 points versus Philly was a franchise record.
3) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS (3): Take nothing away from 4-0, but schedule gets much tougher next two games (at Bears & at Patriots)…despite this great offense, they’ve scored 12 TDs and so have their opponents.
4) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (8): Complete change but this year’s defense has been carrying the offense by giving up only two TDs a game but this is devastating.
5) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS (7): Best turnover ratio, most sacks, giving up the fewest points/game, second-best defense against the pass…the 1980 Detroit Lions and the 2013 KC Chiefs are the only teams to lose 14 games the year before and start the next season 4-0.
6) MIAMI DOLPHINS (5): Tannehill’s legs continue to put the team in manageable third downs (5th in conversions)…but he’s holding the ball too long (sacked NFL worst 18 times).
7) TENNESSEE TITANS (17): Only team remaining with zero turnovers…head coach and O-line coach are HOF offensive lineman so Warmack looks good and the QB is only hit three times a game.
8) DETROIT LIONS (16): Stafford has been sacked only three times (fewest of any QB)…1-0 in a tough stretch of six games with road trips to Green Bay, Cleveland and Chicago.
9) CHICAGO BEARS (4): With the protection of Cutler light years better (only six sacks given up, the 8/6 TD/INT ratio is pathetic.)
10) INDIANAPOLIS COLTS (9): Robert Mathis is second in sacks in 2013 and has 99 in his career (15.5 without Dwight Freeney)…only 29 players in NFL history have 100.
11) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS (10): 23 is bad for the offense and defense (red zone defense rank and points scored per game.)
12) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS (22): Hey Cardinals fans, Ken Whisenhunt’s offense has given up the fewest QB hits in the NFL (9)…Phillip Rivers is completing 74 percent of his passes and has thrown for 11 TDs (second in both categories to you know who.)
13) CINCINNATI BENGALS (6): Vontaze Burfict leads the NFL in tackles…your gift for losing at Cleveland is a visit from New England.
14) BALTIMORE RAVENS (13): The stat of “1,” the number of days after John Harbaugh rips the O-line, Monroe joins the team.
15) DALLAS COWBOYS (12): Romo is not getting the love he deserves with an 8/1 TD/INT ratio and completing 72.4 percent of his passes.
16) HOUSTON TEXANS (14): Andre Johnson leads the NFL with 34 receptions, none of them have gone for a TD…89 percent of all red zone possessions are being converted to TDs against this defense.
17) GREEN BAY PACKERS (15): Only the Texans are worse as Dom Capers is allowing 82 percent of red zone possessions to become six points…worst fourth quarter defense in NFL — giving up 13 points per fourth quarter.
18) CAROLINA PANTHERS (18): Don’t let the record fool you, lost by only five points vs. the best team and one point to Buffalo…if you missed Lotulelei at Utah, you’ll see what you missed.
19) ATLANTA FALCONS (11): Home games against the Jets, BYE & Bucs will fix everything…problem is simple, nine offensive TDs scored and 11 given up.
20) ARIZONA CARDINALS (21): Have given up 28 fourth-quarter points in their losses and zero fourth-quarter points in their wins.
21) CLEVELAND BROWNS (24): Cleveland is averaging 40 more rushing yards per game since the Richardson trade…6,125 straight snaps for the first OL taken in the 2007 draft (Joe Thomas), the second OL taken has been traded.
22) ST. LOUIS RAMS (20): So you have a week to prepare your offensive game plan to match your strengths vs. their weaknesses and your offense gets to practice your scripted plays against air, yet you’re the only team in the NFL to average less than a point per first quarter?
23) NEW YORK JETS (19): Amazing to be +17 in first downs with the second-ranked defense but averaging 11 penalties/game and a -10 turnover ratio is death…give Rex one thing, they give up the fewest third quarter points, so adjustments are working.
24) BUFFALO BILLS (23): Second-best rush offense is huge for a rookie QB, but the wins would be higher if not for the 27th-best rush defense.
25) MINNESOTA VIKINGS (27): Adrian Peterson has 12 60+ yard TD runs, most in NFL history and three more than second-place Jim Brown.
26) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES (26): Second in yards on offense but 32nd in yards on defense and that’s all I have to say about that.
27) WASHINGTON REDSKINS (30): Three first-half TDs on defense and one first-half TD on offense…averaging eight missed tackles per game (yes, that’s far and away the worst).
28) OAKLAND RAIDERS (25): So the black hole gets till 8:30 PM to drink?
29) PITTSBURGH STEELERS (29): When a GM trades for Levi Brown, either you’re such a bad GM you think he can play or you’re such a bad GM you’ve put a team together that’s so putrid you believe he can help.
30) NEW YORK GIANTS (24): The 1954 Cardinals and Redskins were the only two teams in NFL history to give up 30 points and turn the ball over at least three times in their first four games until the 2013 NY Giants.
31) TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS (31): I love the player who asks for a trade without the realization no one wants him…yes the joke is old, but they could lose this weekend too.
32) JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (32): Blaine Gabbert has won three starts against the Colts and two starts against the other 31 other teams.