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Vancouver writer wants Coyotes franchise “to die”

Wow, what a shock.

More anti-Phoenix Coyotes venom coming from north of the border. This time, it’s originating from British Columbia, where Harrison Mooney blogs for The Vancouver Sun.

Mooney explores the possibilities of Coyotes free agent Shane Doan signing a deal with the Canucks, who have been hot after the Phoenix captain since free agency started.

With Doan pledging his allegiance to the Coyotes as long as they’re actually housed it the desert, Mooney is reduced to hoping for the Coyotes franchise to cease existence — even going all Shakespearean on us in the process.

But as the summer has rolled on, it’s become clear that Doan won’t lend Vancouver a jar of love unless Phoenix dies.

So die, Phoenix. Fade into your balmy midsummer night. Tongue, lose thy light. Moon, take thy flight. Now die, die, die, die.

C’mon, Vancouver, you’re better than that (we think). Sure, you light your beautiful city on fire in the infrequent event that you make it to and lose the Stanley Cup Finals, but the Coyotes being erased from the hockey map won’t really help your chances of hoisting the holy chalice.

If Doan ends up wearing the colors of the Canucks (by the way what combination are you sporting these days — blue and maroon, blue and green or this monstrosity?), enjoy him. He’s one of the best competitors and captains in any sport.

But do you really have to root for the Coyotes’ demise? Even without the Coyotes as a potential speed bump, some other American-based franchise will be having a parade to celebrate the Cup. How long has it been since the Cup visited Canada, 19 years?