ARIZONA CARDINALS

GQ Magazine: Arizona Cardinals are the 19th-worst sports franchise

Sep 27, 2013, 3:10 AM | Updated: 7:32 pm

GQ Magazine recently had a little fun for their October edition, as writer Rob Tannenbaum ranked the top 20 worst sports franchises.

Not surprisingly, the Cardinals couldn’t escape the list of the lowliest professional organizations, coming in at No. 19.

While GQ didn’t exactly specify what its qualifications were, the intro to the piece says it all:

For some sports fans, losing is poetry. And the longer it goes on, the more literary it becomes, like an aria of suffering. The teams on this list are not those teams. These teams suck. They suck epically, inventively, in all kinds of ways. They’re stupid. They’re greedy. Some of them are even a little bit evil. All of them torment their fans, confronting them with the same question, over and over, year after year: Have you considered rooting for somebody else?

The Cardinals, who have just three winning seasons and one Super Bowl appearance since moving to the Valley in 1988, were hit pretty hard by Tannenbaum’s analysis.

19. Arizona Cardinals
File under: Oh, who cares?

The Cardinals have been so bad for so long—just eight playoff trips in eighty years, including one twenty-six-year dry spell—that they could be right at the top of this list. But they’re just too marginal, too irrelevant. (Think about it: Have you ever met an Arizona Cardinals fan?) Their awfulness has no grandeur. One classic moment says it all: In 2001, their kicker, Bill Gramatica, blew out his ACL while celebrating a field goal. In the first quarter.

Valley fans have heard far worse, though, and bringing up an injury that occurred 12 years ago wasn’t exactly ‘burn’ material, nevertheless it’s not fun to go back down memory lane — especially when most of the memories are remainders of futility and frustration.

Arizona Cardinals

Cardinals rookie wide receiver Marvin Harrison Jr. announces on his social media he will be wearing...

Bailey Leasure

Marvin Harrison Jr. announces his Cardinals jersey number

Cardinals rookie wide receiver Marvin Harrison Jr. announces on his social media he will be wearing No. 18 for the team.

3 hours ago

Kyler Murray #1 of the Arizona Cardinals runs onto the field before the game against the Seattle Se...

Arizona Sports

Arizona Cardinals schedule to release on May 15, per report

The Arizona Cardinals already know what teams they will be playing and where, just not when. That date is soon approaching, per a report.

18 hours ago

Trey Benson celebrates...

Tyler Drake

Cardinals questions post-NFL Draft: Who takes over at RB2 behind James Conner?

Two names who could make a case to lock down the Cardinals' RB2 role include rookie Trey Benson and veteran Michael Carter.

22 hours ago

Markus Bailey celebrates after a play...

Tyler Drake

Cardinals sign ex-Bengals linebacker Markus Bailey to 1-year deal

The Arizona Cardinals signed former Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Markus Bailey to a one-year deal, the team announced Tuesday.

23 hours ago

...

Arizona Sports Video

Video: Could Zaven Collins still be part of the Arizona Cardinals’ future?

Wolf & Luke talk with former NFL player Lorenzo Alexander about Zaven Collins' future with the Arizona Cardinals.

24 hours ago

Taulia Tagovailoa throws a pass...

Tyler Drake

Report: Taulia Tagovailoa accepts invite to Cardinals’ rookie minicamp

Quarterback Taulia Tagovailoa has reportedly accepted an invite to attend the Arizona Cardinals' rookie minicamp kicking off this week.

1 day ago

GQ Magazine: Arizona Cardinals are the 19th-worst sports franchise