J.J. Watt trolls ‘randomly selected’ PED test after 3-sack game

Dec 20, 2022, 7:34 AM
Arizona Cardinals defensive end J.J. Watt (99) sacks Denver Broncos quarterback Brett Rypien (4) du...

Arizona Cardinals defensive end J.J. Watt (99) sacks Denver Broncos quarterback Brett Rypien (4) during the first half of an NFL football game, Sunday, Dec. 18, 2022, in Denver. (AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

(AP Photo/Jack Dempsey)

Sometimes athletes perform so well at a certain age that they have to be cheating, right?

Well, 33-year-old Arizona Cardinals defensive lineman J.J. Watt felt that’s exactly what happened after his three-sack performance in Sunday’s 24-15 loss to the Broncos in Denver.

That’s when Watt received a text message from “Dillon on behalf of the NFL.”

“You have been selected for a PED urine test, please report to the testing area at any point within three hours of this text,” the text read.

“I think I’ve been ‘randomly selected’ after every three-sack game of my career,” Watt tweeted with a laughing and facepalm emoji.

To go along with his 3.0 three sacks, Watt also tallied up five tackles, three tackles for loss, three QB hits, one stuff, one forced fumble and one pass deflection in 54 snaps (84%).

In fact, the 6-foot-5, 288-pound Watt accumulated all those stats in the first half en route to a 6-3 halftime lead.

The five-time Pro Bowl defensive lineman is now up to 9.5 sacks, 19 QB hits, 12 tackles for loss, 6.5 stuffs, one forced fumble, one fumble recovery and six pass deflections in 13 games this season.

Watt’s suspicion that his “random” test wasn’t so random comes a week after one Cardinals opponent, New England Patriots pass-rusher Matthew Judon, again got called to a testing site amid his strong season.

His 1.5 sacks against Arizona had him voicing his displeasure while the Patriots trained in Tucson last week ahead of a game against the Las Vegas Raiders.

In that instance, “Gary on behalf of the NFL” was the unfortunate soul to ruin Judon’s day.

Arizona Cardinals

Kansas City Chiefs head coach Andy Reid answers a question during an NFL football Super Bowl media ...
Tyler Drake

Reid: Mike Kafka would ‘challenge’ Kyler Murray, Cardinals to be better

Chiefs head coach Andy Reid gave a ringing endorsement Tuesday for Arizona Cardinals' head-coaching candidate Mike Kafka.
21 hours ago
Carolina Panthers head coach Steve Wilks watches play in the second half of an NFL football game ag...
Associated Press

Former Cardinals coach Steve Wilks joins 49ers as DC, per report

The San Francisco 49ers are hiring former Carolina interim head coach Steve Wilks as their new defensive coordinator.
21 hours ago
Philadelphia Eagles OLB Haason Reddick speaks with reporters during opening night of Super Bowl 57 ...
Tyler Drake

From Cardinals to Super Bowl: ‘It’s been a journey’ for Haason Reddick

Misused for most of his Cardinals' tenure, Haason Reddick now vies for a Super Bowl in the same state he headed to as a 2017 first-rounder.
21 hours ago
Kansas City Chiefs quarterbacks coach Mike Kafka talks with Kansas City Chiefs quarterback Patrick ...
Jake Anderson

Patrick Mahomes: Mike Kafka will turn Arizona Cardinals around if hired

Super Bowl LVII marks the first time Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes will take the field to compete for the Lombardi Trophy without Mike Kafka.
21 hours ago
Head coach Brian Flores of the Miami Dolphins looks on from the sideline during the second quarter ...
Arizona Sports

Report: Cardinals head coach candidate Brian Flores takes Vikings’ DC job

Arizona Cardinals head coaching candidate Brian Flores has reportedly accepted the Minnesota Vikings' vacant defensive coordinator position.
2 days ago
Arizona Cardinals WR A.J. Green (Jeremy Schnell/Arizona Sports)...
Arizona Sports

Cardinals wide receiver A.J. Green announces retirement on Instagram

Arizona Cardinals wide receiver A.J. Green has announced on his Instagram account that he has retired from the game of football.
2 days ago
J.J. Watt trolls ‘randomly selected’ PED test after 3-sack game